Knight and Day

I'm always hesitant to watch a Tom Cruise movie. Come on - the guy is absolutely off of his rocker. He made Brooke Shields cry because he said she's not as cool as him. What a punk!

I used to be a big fan of Cameron Diaz, (Was there something about Cameron?) until she started dating some dude from some boy band who dressed like he was protecting an inner-city street corner. I think his name is Justin Timberlake.

Anyway, both of these overly-glorified actors recently starred in the released-to-DVD movie Knight and Day. It's a play on words. In the movie, Cruise and Diaz are known as Miller and Havens, but that would not have stoked as much interest as Knight and Day, but Knight does come into play as you will find.

Cruise plays a secret operative (imagine that) and Diaz plays an unsuspecting victim (imagine that) who just happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. However, through their trials and tribulations, Miller learns that Havens wouldn't make such a bad secret agent herself.

Would they eventually be able to work together to save the world?

Knight and Day also stars Peter Sarsgaard, who's been in such B movies as Rendition, The Mysteries of Pittsburgh, K-19, and an Education.

Directed by James Mangold (3:10 to Yuma, Walk the Line, and Girl Interrupted), Knight and Day is rated PG-13 for circus violence, G-fab computer graphics, and some naughty words and some sexual innuendo. The movie is just about 2 hours long.

I actually didn't think Knight and Day was that bad. Tom Cruise doesn't seem to be pompous, but rather competent and matter-of-fact. I would say the movie is more about Cameron Diaz' character.

I give Knight and Day 3.2 stars. If you can't find any of the top-shelf movies to watch, this one will entertain you for the evening. You probably wouldn't care to see it twice, but once is okay.

What Happens In Vegas

I claim not to like Cameron Diaz very much, but when I look at her resume, I can say that I like a lot of her movies. From The Mask, Something About Mary, Shrek, to the movies where she's a dirtball, like Being John Malkovich and Gangs of New York. She dated a dirtball for a while. Maybe that's why I have a negative image of her. I know I just lost my female audience aged 18-28.

Anyway, What Happens In Vegas stars the aforementioned Cameron Diaz (who's 13 days younger than me) and Ashton Kutcher. Which makes me think - Diaz dated Timberlake, someone who could be her much younger brother. And Kutcher is married to his mom. Well, Demi Moore is not really his mom, but she may have gone to high school with her.

Back to the movie, Diaz ends up getting dumped by her fiance' at his birthday party and Kutcher gets fired by his dad. That evening, their respective friends agree to take them to Las Vegas to have fun and get a fresh start. The couples end up getting double-booked in the same room, leading to a small scuffle, but ultimately to a couple of penthouse suites and a bunch of free amenities. By the end of the evening, the couple ends up super drunk and married.

The next day, they realize their mistake and the inevitability of an annulment. However, they have a brief fight, she walks away and with her quarter, he hits the slot machine and wins $3 million.

The 2 end up court to get divorced and split the money. However, Judge Dennis Miller, on hiatus from making jokes so obscure that linguists are left puzzled, decides that the 2 cannot get divorced for 6 months, and, in fact, must live together that entire time and receive marriage counseling.

The remainder of the movie has the couple trying to outdo each other in an effort to ruin each other's ability to get the money. The movie is enhanced with perennial idiot Rob Coddry (Harold & Kumar, Semi-Pro, & the Heartbreak Kid) and Lake Bell (Over Her Dead Body).

What Happens In Vegas is rated PG-13 for sexual humor, crude humor, language, drug references, and some violence. The movie a little over an hour and 30 minutes long. I give this movie 4 stars. I laughed enough throughout the movie to justify this rating.