Best Laid Plans

Remember my mission to see all of Reese's movies? Well, here's another one I just saw.

When former college friend Bryce (Josh Brolin) shows up, he's treated to an evening of drinking with his old college buddy Nick (Alessandro Nivola), and some sexy romance with a girl he meets (Reese Witherspoon). However, after he wakes up and doesn't remember the evening, things start going horribly wrong. The movie then unfolds into an intricate web of deception, conspiracy, and double-crossing. Will Nick be able to help Bryce get out of this mess? Any more information than this may spoil the plot.

Best Laid Plans is Rated R for violence, adult themes, nudity (not Reese), language, and drug abuse. This psychological thriller from 1999 was directed by Mike Barker, who's best known for American Dad, and is a whopping 93 minutes long.

Best Laid Plans had a lot of potential. The plot is really not that bad - up until the end. When I got to the end, I was so disappointed that I was mad at the movie. "Are you kidding me?" I shouted. I understand that it is difficult to create a plot-twisting dramatic ending, but this ending seems like it was written by a high school drama team 10 minutes before class. 'Hey, we wrote this great movie, but the story is due at 11:30. How should we end it?'

As I stated before, if you like ole Reese, then you would certainly tolerate, if not enjoy, this movie right up until the end. But you can certainly do better than this movie. I give Best Plaid Plans 2.5 stars. Boooooooo.....

Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps

Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps is the sequal to the original Wall Street movie staring Michael Douglas and Charlie Sheen. This time, more than 20 years later, Gordon Gekko is out of prison and he's ready to make right with his life. Or is he?

Gekko's daughter Winnie (Carey Mulligan) is dating Wall Street trader Jake (Shia LeBouf - who I swear is not interested in the daughters of former money makes; or any daughters for that matter, but I digress). In basically what is a replay of the original movie, some big firm goes down and everyone is left with their hat in hand wondering what to do next.

Wanting his girlfriend to make-up with her just released from prison father, Jake meets with Gekko to talk business. Soon thereafter, Jake is working for Gekko's arch-rival Bretton James (Josh Brolin).

Things don't go as smoothly as you would have expected in the reunification attempt for a convicted white-collar criminal who ruined his family and made a spectacle of everything. But as they say, what goes around comes around.

This movie deals mostly with the credit and real estate bubbles of this decade. It runs like an economics and financial documentary for much of the movie. It's full of back-stabbing and much of the same from the original movie.

For comical entertainment, Charlie Sheen makes a cameo appearance that is absolutely pathetic. To me it appeared to be a plug for the original movie. Are they pushing DVD sales? And if you hadn't seen the original movie it would not have been relevant to you.

But all's well in the end, right?

Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps is directed by fear-mongering conspiracy theorist Oliver Stone. Also staring in the movie are liberal titan Susan Sarandon, Frank Langella, John Bedford Lloyd, and Oliver Stone. There are also cameos by Wall Street media moguls Jim Cramer, Maria Bartaromo, and David Faber from NBC's business channel CNBC.

The movie is rated PG-13 for some language, one scene of implied violence, deceit, and cerebral economic discussions.

Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps is more of a sentimental movie for people who love the 80's. There is not much cinematic value to this movie. I mean - is it realistic that some 22 year old kid is some power broker? He really leaped over the 40 year olds who have been working the street for 20 years??? I fully expect there to be another Stone movie about the next economic bubble with accusations against the greedy corporate money whores.

The movie isn't terrible. It's got it's witty one-liners, but it's just.....eh.

I give Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps 2.9 stars.

True Grit (2010)

I'm not in the habit of going to the movies. In fact, I cannot remember the last time I went to the movies. It may have been to see I Am Legend, the Will Smith movie. And I'm pretty sure the last movie that my wife and I saw together was Bridges of Madison County. That tells you how much I like going to the movies.

I went to the movies because we subscribe to the Baltimore Sun (that's a newspaper - it's made of paper and is sometimes delivered to your house and has news...sometimes). This newspaper has a contests section and she won 2 tickets to see True Grit. Not being a predictable romantic comedy, my wife had no interest in seeing it. So I rounded up a friend and we went to see the premier in Hunt Valley, Maryland.

True Grit is a remake of the 1969 movie of the same name starring the late John Wayne, Glen Campbell (who used to have a career before the heavy drinking and the run-in's with the law), and Kim Darby.

This new version stars Jeff Bridges as Rooster J. Cogburn, the Marshall for hire, Matt Damon as Texas Ranger La Boeuf (pronounced Le-beef), and Hailee Steinfeld, the up-and-coming 14 year old actress as Mattie Ross, the young girl out to avenge her father's murder, and Josh Brolin as the irrascable Tom Chaney, the murder of said father.

The premise of the movie is that Mattie's father is murdered by a drunkard and she goes to town and hires Rooster Cogburn to find her father's killer and bring him to justice. La Boeuf shows up with a warrant for Chaney's arrest of a different crime. Mattie Ross is a strong determined young lady who will have nothing that is not her way. And together the 3 of them head off into Indian Country to find Chaney.

Though not a comedy, Jeff Bridges plays the character of Cogburn with such flair that it is hysterical. The combination of Rooster with the straight-laced La Boeuf and the head-strong Mattie makes for an excellent combination. Unfortuantely, I had not seen the orignial before I saw this remake. But I must say that I was thoroughly impressed with this movie. In fact, I would say it is my favorite movie of the year. Jeff Bridges deserves an Oscar for his performance. Heck, Hailee Steinfeld deserves one, too.

The movie was directed by the Coen brothers, Ethan and Joel, and produced by them with the support of Scott Rudin, and Steven Spielberg. True Grit is rated PG-13 for violence and a snake.

I give True Grit, the 2010 remake a full 5 stars.

W.

Anyone that knows me or reads my other blog knows that politically I lean slightly to the right. Okay - a little more than slightly, but that's not the point. When I saw that Oliver Stone was producing a movie about George W. Bush, I could only picture the worst. After all, Old Olly is known for his conspiracy movies and I was a bit afraid that he would pal up with Michael Moore and prove how George W. Bush created Hurricane Katrina and directed it to the 7th Ward in New Orleans.

Stone Cold Oliver is known for his conspiracy movies. Remember JFK, The Doors, Born on the 4th of July, Nixon? Though he has put out some good ones - Platoon, Wall Street. But he's also produced some duds - Camera, Alexander. I've never seen Natural Born Killers, so I cannot comment on that one.

W. stars Josh Brolin as the W. I'll have to admit, he did a good job with the voice. He really did sound like the former President. However, I must admit that on the whole, the acting sucked. Thandie Newton's performance as Condileeza Rice was comical to the point where I really was "LOL". Jeffrey Wright as Colin Powell was nearly as bad. James Cromwell, the 9 ft tall thespian, made no attempt to impersonate George H. W. Bush, but that was probably okay. Elizabeth Banks, who I have a slight attraction, did a fair job as Laura Bush, and again, made little attempt to actually impersonate her. Richard Dreyfuss, on the other hand, had perhaps his best performance since Jaws. He portrayed Dick Cheney and portrayed him as we would think of him.

Now, we all know that W is a bit of a doofus. Okay, he's a huge doofus. His grammar is horrible, he stumbles in his speeches, he makes up words, he can't think on his feet. We get that. However, Stone made it a point to get every gaff W's ever said into 2 hours. It was like watching David Letterman's daily Bush-bashing, but not funny. And the result of this is 2 hours of the worst movie ever made. At several points I though about turning the movie off and pouring Tabasco sauce in my eyes - something that would me more enjoyable.

W. is rated PG-13 for piss-poor acting, drug and alcohol references, and a liberal agenda, but more on that in my political blog. The movie is 129 minutes long, but that's 115 minutes too long. I do not recommend this movie. In fact, I recommend that you avoid it at all costs. Go rent some gardening documentaries. You'll get more out of it. I give his piece of junk movie the lowest rating - 1 Star.

No Country For Old Men

WARNING: THIS REVIEW CONTAINS A SPOILER

I usually write reviews to just provide enough information to give the reader a taste for the movie without revealing how it ends. However, for this movie, I must change my style.

What do you call a movie that ends without any conflict resolution? No Country For Old Men. What do you call a movie that kills off the protagonist a half an hour before the movie ends? No Country For Old Men. What movie leaves you thinking, "What the hell just happened?" No Country For Old Men.

I must admit that the first hour and 45 minutes of the movie had me on the edge of my seat. The premise of the movie is that Josh Brolin finds a field of cars and dead bodies. He had come across the results of a drug deal gone bad. He finds a bag with $1.5 million in it and decides to keep it. However, he soon learns that he is being chased and begins to run.

What we learn is that he is being pursued by Anton Chigurh (Javier Bardem), a Hispanic hit-man hired by the Mexican mafia to retrieve the money. This guy is an absolute psychopath and deserves the award for best supporting actor. Also chasing Brolin is Carson Wells (Woody Harrelson), a hit man and apparent former collegue of Chigurh. Finally, Sherrif Tommy Lee Jones, an older soon-to-be retiring police officer with a great wit, is searching for both. This trail of dead bodies across the state gave him an interest in the case.

Without giving away the good part, we culminate in El Paso, Texas. Brolin is trying to get the money to his wife so that she can escape. He's been running from Chigurh and think's he may have escaped him. What he is not ware of is that the Mexican mafia has not lost him. The next thing you know almost everyone is dead. Tommy Lee Jones returns to the crime scene later that evening and the viewer knows that Chigurh is there, however he is hiding and there is no interaction between the two and Jones leaves.

We then go to Chigurh who's sitting in a chair in the bedroom of Brolin's mother-in-law's house and Brolin's wife returns from the funeral. After a short maniacal conversation, we see him leave the house wiping off his shoes. We assume he killed her.

Then, here's where the movie takes a big poop on your desk and the movie doesn't feel bad about it. The movie's last scene shows Tommy Lee Jones talking to his wife. Apparently he retired. He's talking about two dreams he had about his father. After the second dream he woke up. And the movie ends.

What the hell???? I had to check the DVD player. I thought it accidentally skipped to the end. What did I miss? Did I fall asleep for 30 minutes? How can a movie end like this. I need conclusions. No loose ends. Now my mental imagination thinks this Chigurh dude is still out there and, quite honestly, I'm scared. What if he knows that I hated the ending of the movie? Is he going to come looking for me?

How do I rate this movie? I don't know. How about this - the first hour and 45 minutes of the movie deserves a solid 5 stars. The tension, the drama, the action - it's all worth it. The final 15 minutes - 2 stars. Were the Coen brothers expressing their artistic side? The self-recognizing Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences seems to think so. They gave this big piece of poo the award for best movie. Boo!!!!

If you like movies with hugely dissappointing endings, then this movie is for you. If you like logical endings, skip it. You'll be so irritated you won't be able to sleep and you'll have to eat a bag of Doritoes and watch Letterman until you can calm down. (At least that's why I had to do!)