Chasing Amy

I'm not sure which of my friends recommended this movie, but when I figure it out I'm going to punch them in the nose.

Now and then you get a movie recommendation that is absolutely wrong. I know one of my friends, or perhaps several of them, recommended the Kevin Smith movie Chasing Amy to me. I've seen several of his other movies including Clerks, Mallrats, Dogma, and Clerks 2, so I figured it was a safe pick. Boy was I wrong.

My first mistake was thinking that Chasing Amy was a comedy. With nearly an hour and 18 minutes of Ben Afflac and Gay Joey screaming at each other trying to make the other feel guilty I came to realize that the movie is actually a romantic drama, because that's what they do in romantic dramas - scream at each other for long periods of time while trying to make each other feel guilty.

Chasing Amy stars the usual suspects for any Kevin Smith movie, including Kevin Smith, Ben Affleck, Jason Lee, Matt Damon, Brian O'Halloran, and Jason Mewes.

Chasing Amy is rated R for language and drug use, if you can believe that in a Kevin Smith movie, and some sexual content. The movie is 113 minutes long.

Outside of some of the Jason Lee parts and the Jay and Silent Bob bit, the rest of the movie sucked. I give this movie 2 stars. If you ever hear me recommending this movie to anyone please smash my Big Mac into my face. This movie is not as funny as anyone will report it to be. And the worst part about it is I wasted a Netflix spot for it. I could have had Emmanuelle 2!

Clerks 2

If you've never seen the original Clerks movie, stop reading right now and go get it. It is a classic low-budget movie that is a must-see. Once you've seen it you can continue reading.

Okay, we can now assume you've seen Clerks.

My family and I went to Don Pablo's last night and somehow I consumed 3 glasses of iced tea giving me enough caffeine to stay awake for several days. So I started watching Clerks II at about 10:30pm. And I finished watching the movie. Boy am I going to be tired today!

The original Clerks is one of the funniest movies of the 90's. And it's in black and white! The conversation about blowing up the Death Star and killing all the contractors is worth the whole movie.

Now, Dante and Randal have left the quick market because of a tragic fire. Now they are both employed at Mooby's, a fast-food restaurant.

Dante (Brian O'Halloran) has a new girfriend (Jennifer Schwalbach Smith, who incidentally is actually Kevin Smith's wife) and a hot boss (Rosario Dawson). Randall (Jeff Anderson) is happy enough in life making food and tormenting customers and employees.

The banter between everyone is hysterical. Like the original Clerks, much of it revolves around Star Wars and there's an intense argument over which is better - The Lord of the Rings trilogy or the Star Wars trilogy. Then there's the pussy troll conversation with Elias, the very religous feminine burger maker with no self-esteem.

The movie involves a little more romantic adversity than I cared to hear or watch and the ending is totally predictable, but the situational comedy is very funny. Jay and Silent Bob (Jason Mewes and Kevin Smith) make their appearances and Silent Bob actually speaks, though I think this may have ruined the aura of Silent Bob.

I give this movie 3 stars. The comedy was mostly good, but the romantic battle that Dante faces between his fiance' and his boss is a little drawn out. In one sequence I think the entire 1979 song by the Smashing Pumpkins is played while he is driving around town pondering what to do. Come on! The whole song?!!! It should have been about 10-15 seconds worth of pondering.