The Love Guru

I am not having much luck with picking good movies lately. As I think I have said before, if you want to throwback to your middle school days and the humor that appealed to you at that time, then this movie is for you.

In The Love Guru, Mike Myers stars as Guru Pitka, a white guy that saw his family die while they were in India. He is then raised by the cross-eyed Guru Tugginmypudha, because cross-eyed guys are hysterical. Oh, and funny Indian names are hysterical, too, apparently.

Anyway, Jessica Alba comes to GP as the owner of the Toronto Maple Leafs (yes, that's Leafs, not Leaves) who has a player, Darren Roanoke (Romany Malco) (no relation to Jeremy Roenick), who is in a funk and the team needs him to win the Stanley Cup. However, Roanoke's girl, Prudence (Meagan Good) has fallen for his nemessis, goalie Jacques "The Cock" Grande (Justin Timberlake). It is up to GP to help Roanoke refocus and maybe even get back with his girl.

The penis and vagina jokes are rampant in this movie. Ha-ha. Yes, I get it. And yes, I heard it before. There were a few jokes that actually made me laugh, like the Quebequen pizza comment, but it was a mostly a slap-stick with a lot of lines and action that must have been inside jokes between Myers and that other cast members.

If you are a die-hard Saturday Night Live fan, you probably think almost anything is funny. For the rest of us, spare yourself.

The Love Guru is rated PG-13 for continuous crude and sexual content, drug references, language, and downright bigotry. At least they didn't make hockey look that bad. Fortunately, the movie was only 87 minutes long. It ended in just enough time for me to catch the last half of Hogan's Heroes.

I gave this movie 2 stars. Had it not been for Jessica Alba and her pretty smile and cute butt, this movie would have been intolerable. If you're not a Jessica Alba fan (and I cannot understand why you wouldn't), don't waste your time.