Zero Dark Thirty

Boy, I haven't written a movie blog review in a while.  In fact, it's been over a year.

A friend of mine posted on Facebook that he wanted to see Zero Dark Thirty and he was probing for interest.  I quickly swam to the bait and bit the hook.

We went to the somewhat unsafe Owings Mills theater.  Fortunatley there were few people there, thus reducing the probability that we would be mugged, robbed, assaulted, abused, molested, battered, pick-pocketed, slashed, beaten, stabbed, shot, sliced, knifed, or generally made uncomfortable.

Zero Dark Thirty is the movie about the search and capture of Osama bin Laden, the terrorist master mind behind al Qaeda and the 9/11 attacks on the United States, the bombing of the London subway, and the bombing of the Spanish trains, to name a few.

The movie is almost like a cinematic medley.  The first half of the movie is about the search for bin Laden.  Then there is the building of the case to make the strike against the compound where they suspected bin Laden was hiding, and then there was the actual military strike.

Zero Dark Thirty stars Jessica Chastain as Maya, the CIA agent assigned to the search for bin Laden, who through 12 years of stoic research, on-field experience, and a growing hostile and confident personality eventually becomes a regular bad-ass.

The movie displays some of the darker sides of the war on terror, such as torture and terrorist attacks. Many scenes are disturbing with a powerful images and sounds that will pound your chest.  As the intense screaming figure said in the old commercials for indoor lacrosse, 'we sell you a ticket for the whole seat, but you'll only need the edge!"  This was certainly the case for Zero Dark Thirty.

The movie also stars Jason Clark as a fellow investigator, Kyle Chandler as Jason Bradley, one of the field directors, Jennifer Ehle as Maya's closest friend in the desert, and Jeremy Strong as the jack-hole director over the search.  The movie is based on real events, but cannot be identified as a true story as much of it is still classified.

I remember reading of the political storm brewing because of the fear that classified information was leaked to help write and produce the movie, in addition to the movie containing and promoting pro-liberal viewpoints.  I cannot comment on the leaks as I obviously have no idea what information would have been classified.  However, as a right-wing conspiracy theorist myself, I am confident in saying that I found no pro-liberal viewpoints in the movie.  I think it was just political grandstanding and sensationalism to create a ruckus.

Zero Dark Thirty is Rated R for language, violence, including scenes or torture and death from terrorist attacks, and smoking.  Yes, smoking.

I highly recommend this movie and I give this movie 4.5 stars.  It is long, probably about 2 hours and 20 minutes long.  I would have given it a little higher rating, but I think that Jessica Chastain lacks energy.  Her characters are always sort of dry and restrained.  In what you would expect as an intense scene of highly charged emotion, Chastain was melancholy and seemingly disengaged.  Regardless, you should still see this movie.

X-Men First Class

I have not seen any of the other X-Men movies, except for the Wolverine movie, which I think is a little different anyway, so I think I come into this movie sort of like someone would come into Star Wars Phantom Menace without seeing A New Hope, The Empire Strikes Back, and Return of the Jedi. I have no idea what the other movies are about.

I expected X-Men First Class to be like the wave of other super hero movies that have been in the theaters the past 5-10 years. And in many ways it is. Lots of computer-animated graphics. Lots of special sound effects. Unrealistic cinematic action. But this movie has something that the other movies didn't have - Kevin Bacon.

X-Men: First Class takes viewers back to World War II when the first mutants were discovered by evil Nazi scientists. Now they, the mutants, are older and various groups of mutants are discovering each other and banning together. Also in the mix are the bad mutants that are ready to take over the world.

Now set in the early 1960's with the Cuban Missile Crisis looming, the bad X-Men plan to use this to their advantage. Their weapons are deception, fear, and intimidation. Or were those the weapons of the Spanish Inquisition?

Also starring in this movie are James McAvoy as Dr. Charles Xavier, the chief of the good X-Men, Michael Fassbender as Magneto, January Jones as Emma Frost, Zoë Kravitz as Angel Salvadore, and Oliver Platt as "Man in Black Suit". I could list another dozen more of the actors playing super heroes. But I'm not going to.

There was one glaring flaw in the battle scene with the computer animated graphics. Any Navy man would probably notice it. Other keen or trained eyes may catch it, too.

X-Men: First Class is Rated PG-13 for intense sequences of violence, language, some sexuality, an some partial nudity. Apparently naked aliens counts as nudity now. Maybe only if she has breasts. Blue ones.

Overall, I was impressed with X-Men: First Class. I didn't expect much from the movie, but it was actually not that bad. So if you like or can tolerate science fiction movies, I think you'll like this movie. I give X-Men: First Class 3.6 stars.

Hanna

Hanna is a film about a young girl named Hanna (Saoirse Ronan - who I think makes a great young Cate Blanchett) who has been raised in solitude, but trained for combat and self-defense. But why? Her father, Erik Heller (Eric Bana), has been training her his whole life to be a multilingual fighter. But why? What Hanna does not know is that Erik has a secret and the CIA, and more importantly, agent Marissa Wiegle (Cate Blanchett) wants him and Hanna dead.

When Hanna is ready to face the world, she flips a switch indicating to the CIA of Erik's presence. Hanna is soon captured, but not for long. The CIA and Marissa learn that Hanna is fully trained and will be difficult to stop.

The rest of the movie depicts Marissa chasing Hanna and Hanna beating up people, while befriending a family on a vacation in the desert Southwest.

I think I got sort of lost with the movie. I understand why Hanna was running, but what was she running to, other than to kill Marissa before she kills her? I understand the secret, so I guess exposing the secret will destroy Marissa's career, so is that basically it? Is this movie too cerebra for me?

I'll admit that the action was pretty cool and persistent, though the plot was a bit too science fiction to be believable.

Hanna is Rated R for violence, a bit of language, and some sexual situations. The movie was directed by Joe Wright, who also directed Atonement (another Saoirse Ronan movie), and Pride and Prejudice (of the most recent remake). He's currently working on Anna Karenina, which I think will be 200 hours long.

Also starring in the movie are Jessica Barden as Hanna friend, Tom Hollander, Olivia Williams, and Jason Flemying, mostly actors I do not know.

Overall, I thought that the movie was decent. I just wish that I wasn't so confused at the end. Sometimes I just need someone to explain things to me at the end. I give Hanna and her blond eyebrows 3.4 stars.

The Quiet Man

I've never been a big fan of John Wayne. I think that's mostly because he did westerns and I don't really care for westerns. However, he did make a few movies where he didn't wear a cowboy hat. The Quiet Man was one of them.

Many actors have a counterpart of the opposite sex that often play opposite them in many movies. There's Bogey and Bacall, Tracey and Hepburn, Judy Garland and Mickey Rooney. John Wayne's Katharine Hepburn is Maureen O'Hara. Her most popular movie was probably Miracle on 34th Street. Other big titles were Alfred Hitchcock's Jamaica Inn, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, How Green Was My Valley, and the original The Parent Trap.

In The Quiet Man, Wayne is an Irishman, Sean Thornton, returning to Ireland after living most of his life in America, to reclaim his family's property. Neighboring property owner Red Danaher (Victor McLaglen) wants the property, but Sean outbids him. Meanwhile, Sean falls in love with Red's sister Mary Kate (O'Hara), but Red refuses to allow him to marry her.

Sean, a former boxer, eventually wins approval, but as Sean is unaccustomed to the pride of the Irish and their customs, he has a difficult time appreciating what is important to others, which strains his marriage. He eventually loses respect from many, in addition to losing Mary Kate, and must fight to win her and everyone's respect back.

The best line of the movie is when someone asks Sean Thorton where he lived in America. He said he lived in Pittsburgh, if you can call that living. Hysterical!

The movie was filmed in color, but not by a high quality color film, so by today's standards it looks pretty bad. I initially thought it was a colorized black and white movie. The movie was mostly filmed in Ireland, home to many of the actors, including supporting actor Barry Fitzgerald.

The Quiet Man is 2 hours and ten minutes long. The movie was made in 1952 and directed by the famous John Ford, often considered the best director of all time. In fact, he won an Oscar for Best Director in The Quiet Man. The movie also won an Academy Award for Best Cinemotography. It was also nominated for Best Picture, Best Supporting Actor (Victor McLaglen), Best Art Direction, Best Sound, and Best Adapted Screenplay.

I found the movie to be a bit long and without a clear direction. As acclaimed as the movie was, I only thought it to be moderately good. I did, however, enjoy the culturally appropriate music. And I always enjoy Barry Fitzgerald, especially when he's been a wee bit to the bottle.

I give The Quiet Man an even 3 stars.

The Adjustment Bureau

When I speak of William Holden being the lead man of his era, I can say that Matt Damon is the lead man of his era. At only 41 years old, Damon continues to put out movies year after year that capture your imagination or your attention, regardless of its material. And he can also successfully slide over to television (Liz Lemon's boyfriend on 30 Rock).

The Adjustment Bureau is Damon's newest movie to be released on DVD (remember I rarely go to the movie theater. Too expensive and people just won't shut the funk up!)

In this movie, Damon is a young Congressman David Norris running for the U.S. Senate. While reflecting upon the day and mentally preparing for his speech, Norris runs into a young lady named Elise (Emily Blunt) and instantly falls in love. Norris' speach is considered a dramatic success, though he loses the election after some frivilous behavior is exposed.

All the while, the audience watches as these men in hats seem to be following him around. Several years later, Harry (Anthony Mackie), one of these hatted men, is instructed to make Norris spill his coffee so that he misses the bus. Harry falls asleep, Norris makes the bus and again runs into Elise. Then he runs into men in his office that seem to be lobotomizing his coworkers. After an unsuccessful flight attempt, Norris is detained and told that the hatted men are from the Adjustment Bureau, men instructed to keep certain people's fate in line. Norris, not wanting to be tied to a predetermined fate which he disagrees with, spends the rest of the movie trying to outrun and mislead the hatted men.

The Adjustment Bureau is based on the romantic science fiction thriller book The Adjustment Team by Philip K. Dick. This movie was captivating to me. I only intended on watching half of it one night and the other half the following night. Instead I found myself watching it through to 11:30pm, which is late for me. I suffered for it the next day at work.

In addition to Damon and Blunt, the movie also stars John Slattery from Mad Men, Anthony Ruivivar, who you may recognize from Third Watch, Michael Kelly, an absolute knock-off for Elliot "Spitz or Swallows" Spitzer, the disgraced former governor of New York. Oh, and left-wing liberal fake news comedian John Stewart's in it, too.

The Adjustment Bureau is an hour and 40 minutes long and Rated R for some strong language, violence, and some minor sexuality.

I really enjoyed The Adjustment Bureau and I think you will, too. You do not have to be a science fiction fan to appreciate this movie. There's romance, action, drama....something for everyone. I'll give The Adjustment Bureau 4.2 stars. Check it out.

The Gallant Hours

I love watching war movies. Mostly movies from World War II. I wish there were more movies about the American Revolution and the Civil War, but there are not. From a cinematic perspective, it's good that World War II occurred when it did because film photography was finally advanced enough to get great footage of the actual war, and to recreate many of the battles that had occurred only months or years prior.

The Gallant Hours is a World War II movie about Admiral "Bull" Halsey. I think the most significant observation of this movie is that James Cagney looks remarkably similar to the actual person he portrayed in the movie. I wonder if the two men ever met. (I just looked it up and they did meet on the set of the movie!)

The movie starts off with Halsey getting ready to retire from the Navy, then goes into a reflection of his years as an Admiral in the Pacific Fleet. The film highlights a critical era in the War in the Pacific as the United States tries to stave off the Japanese in the Philippines.

Counter to the story of Admiral Halsey is the story of Japanese Admiral Yamamoto. What I found interesting is that the dialog in those scenes was in Japanese with no subtitles. The movie is narrated by Robert Montgomery (close friend of Cagney and father of Samantha from Bewitched, Elizabeth Montgomery). During the Japanese dialog, Montgomery only provides what I assume to be cursory narration.

The Gallant Hours, which was made in 1960, is just under 2 hours long. It was made in black and white. Also starring in the movie are Dennis Weaver (McCloud and Gunsmoke), Les Tremayne, Richard Burton, and Raymond Bailey, whom you may remember as Mr. Drysdale from the Beverly Hillbillies.

The Gallant Hours is a great World War II-era movie, though the film depicts no battle scenes. I read that the movie was very accurate except for a few minor details. Cagney and The Gallant Hours were good enough for me to give them the coveted 5 stars. This is a great movie to watch for Veteran's Day!

Union Station

William Holden is one of my favorite actors of all time. I really didn't know anything about him until I was watching an old rerun of Magnum P.I. and Thomas Magnum said that William Holden was one of his favorite actors and his favorite movie was Stalag 17. I then got Stalag 17 from the library and loved it. I then got other Holden movies such as Sunset Boulevard and Sabrina and decided that Thomas Magnum was right - this guy is a great actor. Since then I've seen about 20 or more of his movies. And this is one of them.

In this classic crime drama, Union Station starts with a train ride where a young lady (Nancy Olson, who also starred in Sunset Boulevard) notices two suspicious characters getting on the train that she is riding, then notices one of them has a gun. She reports the issue to one of the conductors, but gets little empathy. Begrudgingly, the issue is reported and Lt. William Calhoun of the train police is brought in to investigate. Once the police get hot on the trail, they realize that another young lady may have been kidnapped and it becomes a cat and mouse chase.

Made in 1950, Union Station is a classic film noir. These are the types of movies your parents grew up on. I'm acting more like my parent's age than my own - I really liked this movie.

The movie also stars the famous Irish character actor Barry Fitzgerald as Inspector Donnelly, whom you may recognize from The Quiet Man and Going My Way. Others include Jan Sterling and Parley Baer, probably best known as the voice of Ernie Keebler of the cookie world.

Union Station has a decent plot, though there are no dramatic plot twists or spans of anxious tension (by today's standards). However, for being a classic crima drama, Union Station fills that niche and fills it well. Holden, as always, is strong, yet romantic.

I give Union Station 4.4 stars.

Casbah

Since we dropped the Netflix plan that delivers movies to your home, I have been watching a lot of older movies, since that is mostly what Netflix offers as movies.

This past week I watched a movie that I put in my queue that has Peter Lorre, whom you would recognize from Bugs Bunny cartoons if you didn't know him as the actor himself. The movie also has Yvonne DeCarlo in it, whom you will remember as Lillith from The Munsters. I have never considered her to be an attractive actress. After all, she was married to Herman Munster and she was more of mistress of the dark. However, in Casbah, as a young woman and not in her goulish costume - she's actually very beautiful.

The movie plot is simple. Algiers is full of thieves and Pepe Le Moko (actor\singer Tony Martin) decides to hide amongst the other thieves. While hiding out he falls in love with French tourist named Gaby (Swedish actress Märta Torén). When his ex-lover Inez (Yvonne DeCarlo) learns of his desire, she decides to work with police to help get him captured. Now Pepe must decide whether to hide or try to flee with his new French love.

Casbah was made in 1948 and directed by John Berry, one of the directors blacklisted during McCarthism for being named as a Communist. The movie was 93 minutes long and won an Academy Award for Best Original Song.

Also starring in the movie are Austrian Hugo Hoss and Thomas Gomez, who won an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor for his performance in Ride the Pink Horse.

Too old to be rated, but certainly tame enough for a PG rating, I only found Cashab moderately entertaining. As I mentioned I enjoyed looking at a young Yvonne DeCarlo, but the movie is considered a musical, though I don't think there are really that many songs. As far as older movies goes, I'll give this an average 3 stars.

Does this woman look like Lillith Munster????

Best Laid Plans

Remember my mission to see all of Reese's movies? Well, here's another one I just saw.

When former college friend Bryce (Josh Brolin) shows up, he's treated to an evening of drinking with his old college buddy Nick (Alessandro Nivola), and some sexy romance with a girl he meets (Reese Witherspoon). However, after he wakes up and doesn't remember the evening, things start going horribly wrong. The movie then unfolds into an intricate web of deception, conspiracy, and double-crossing. Will Nick be able to help Bryce get out of this mess? Any more information than this may spoil the plot.

Best Laid Plans is Rated R for violence, adult themes, nudity (not Reese), language, and drug abuse. This psychological thriller from 1999 was directed by Mike Barker, who's best known for American Dad, and is a whopping 93 minutes long.

Best Laid Plans had a lot of potential. The plot is really not that bad - up until the end. When I got to the end, I was so disappointed that I was mad at the movie. "Are you kidding me?" I shouted. I understand that it is difficult to create a plot-twisting dramatic ending, but this ending seems like it was written by a high school drama team 10 minutes before class. 'Hey, we wrote this great movie, but the story is due at 11:30. How should we end it?'

As I stated before, if you like ole Reese, then you would certainly tolerate, if not enjoy, this movie right up until the end. But you can certainly do better than this movie. I give Best Plaid Plans 2.5 stars. Boooooooo.....

Fear

I may have mentioned before that one of my objectives is to watch all of Reese Witherspoon's movies. When I came to the realization that I liked her and looked her library of movies, there really aren't that many big hits. Sweat Home Alabama and Walk the Line come to mind. Both are a couple of my all-time favorite movies.

So thus began my mission to watch all of her movies. I've now seen her ealiest movies that she made as a child (The Man in the Moon (actually, this one was pretty good), Wildflower, Twilight (which I think is the only movie in which she gets naked), and Pleasantville).

This week I watched Fear. In Fear she plays a high school girl (she's actually 20 years old when she plays this role). She's a bit of a party girl and when her parent's decide to leave her home for the weekend, she uses the opportunity to bring home a boy. Little does she know that this boy, Dave (Mark Wahlberg) is a raging lunatic. But as any guy who's been to high school can tell you, the pretty girls always go for the crazy, mean, and stupid guys. What's the attraction???

Eventually, David moves into the family relationship and Nicole's father Steven (William Paterson) starts to question this guy. He's seems awfully chummy with his wife Laura (Amy Brenneman). Nicole starts to realize that David is not who she thinks he is when she sees him with her friend Margo (Alyssa Milano - remember when she was cute? Now she's just kind of weird).

When the family decides that it's time for David to go, David does not go quietly.

Fear is rated R for violence, sexuality, language and unemotional acting. The movie is 96 minutes long.

I say unemotional, because when your life is on the line, or you think something terrible is going to happen, your reaction isn't going to be, "Hmmm....what do we do?" It's going to be a blood-curdling scream. And it's not like the people in the movie were able to contain their emotion. They just lacked it.

The movie's only redeeming quality was the roller coaster scene. You could probably lift that off of the Internet. You'll never think of a roller coaster the same way. And did I mention that she's in a bikini in several scenes???

I did accomplish one objective - I watched another Reese Witherspoon movie. What I did not accomplish was watching a good movie. I can only give Fear 2.3 stars. It really isn't worth watching this movie unless you're a big Witherspoon fan.

Your Highness

If you like filth, foul language, inappropriate and pervasive sexual, masturbatorial, and homo-erotica dialog, you will LOVE this movie. If you don't like those kinds of things, then run away and lock yourself in a room with The Sound of Music. Julie Andrews is your friend.

Your Highness is a middle ages comedy about a young Princess Belladonna (Zooey Deschanel - who's making her rounds on gossip news, of which I could care less) who is kidnapped prior to her wedding to the young brave and worthy Prince Fabious (James Franco). His not-so-worthy overweight and unambitious brother Thadeos (Danny McBride) begrudgingly agrees to go on a mission to rescue his bride and return to the castle.

The two brothers then cross the land and seek knowledge from perverted puppets demanding sexual favors, get attacked by naked women threatening to kill them, and cross paths with the lovely and worthy warrioress, Isabell (Natalie Portman).

This movie is zany. This movie is gross. This movie is hysterical if you can tolerate it.

Directed by David Gordon Green, Your Highness is Rated R, but the unrated version would definitely be XXX. There's language, nudity, pervasive sexual references and innuendo, language, violence, and language.

The movie also stars Charles Dance as King Tallious, which I think is a reference to a penis (tally-whacker), Toby Jones as Julie the peasant helper, and Justin Therox as Leezer.

I'm not real sure how to rate this movie. With most of my friends, this movie would not warrant a discussion. In fact, it may tarnish my reputation to admit that I found parts of it funny. I might be labeled and banned for running for a political office. But to my perverted sexually-twisted friends, they'll like this movie. I'll give it an even-keeled 3 stars.

Win Win

When one thinks of Paul Giamatti, one instantly thinks of John Adams, the wildly successful mini-series on HBO, based on the book by David McCullough. Giamatti doesn't just look like John Adams, he IS John Adams.

Fast forward 200 years, John Adams stars in this comedy drama about a lawyer in New Jersey who's lawyerly life is not living up to what he had hoped it to be for him and his wife Jackie (Amy Ryan). He finds himself taking somewhat advantage of an older gentleman named Leo (Burt Young - Adrian's brother from Rocky) by becoming his guardian, then dumping him off in an assisted living facility and collecting the monthly cash. Then out of nowhere, Leo's grandson shows up to live with Leo.

Having nowhere to go for a few days until things can get settled, John Adams takes in Leo's teenage grandson Kyle (Alex Shaffer), a child of few words. Trying to keep him busy, President Adams offers to take him to his moonlighting job, a high school where he is the wrestling coach. Kyle asks to wrestle with the team and the other coaches, Vigman (Jeffrey Tambor 0f Arrested Development), and Terry (Bobby Cannavale) realize they have a wrestling progeny on their hands.

But just as things are starting to look up for this wayward child, his drug-addicted and abusive mother Cindy (Melanie Lynskey) shows up to take him back with her to Ohio, and Kyle has no intentions of going back.

Directed by Thomas McCarthy, Win Win is rated R for language, and there really wasn't that much of it. And it wasn't used in vain like most movies. The movie is an hour and 40 minutes long.

I liked Win Win. My wife watched this one with me, which is a novelty in itself. She said it was just okay and that the story line was a little slow. I'll give her that. But Win Win is one of those movies that gives you hope that good things can happen. And though not ragingly funny, the movie does have its moments.

I'll give Win Win 3.9 stars.

Unfaithfully Yours

I haven't reviewed an old black and white movie lately. So here you go. A relatively obscure one. Most people have heard of Casablanca and Gone With the Wind, but what about Unfaithfully Yours?

Unfaithfully Yours stars Rex Harrison as Sir Alfred De Carter, a world famous symphony conductor. After he returns from a stint in England, Sir Alfred learns that his brother-in-law August (Rudy Valee), whom has had asked to keep an eye on his wife Daphne (Linda Darnell), (and you thought the only Daphne was from Scooby-Doo), hired an investigator to follow her rather than to 'just keep an eye on her'. However, the private investigator has revealed that Mrs. Daphne has been spending much time with Sir Alfred's personal Secretary Anthony Windborn (Kurt Kreuger). Now Sir Alfred suspects his wife's infidelity.

Throughout the remainder of the movie, Sir Alfred envisions ways to commit the perfect crime - the murder of his wife for her transgressions. His fantasizes about this treachery during his conduction of his symphony's, which drive his wild ambition, which have the effect of much aggrandized performances which mesmerizes his audiences.

Now Sir Alfred must act out his fantasy and do the deed. But will he have the courage?

Unfaithfully Yours was made in 1948, and thus was not rated by the secret society known as the MPAA. The movie has some implied violence and some subtle sexual references, harmless by today's standards.

I really enjoyed this movie and at times could not discern fact from fiction. Rex Harrison becomes the mad infatuated conductor and pulls off his role with absolute brilliance.

I read a bit about the actors in the movie and found their real lives to be just as interesting, if not more, than the actual movie. Linda Darnell, who was a very beautiful woman, fell into alcoholism and depression. She had numerous affairs and marriages, including an affair with Mickey Rooney, and was extorted and threatened. She ended up dying at the age 41 in a house fire.

Rex Harrison, on the other hand, had 6 wives, 2 of whom committed suicide, and 1 died of leukemia.

I really like old "talkies" as my wife calls them. This one was no different. I'll give Unfaithfully Yours 4.1 stars.

Paul

The movie Paul is a culmination of science fiction, referencing popular movies, comics, books, nerd conventions, Area 51, and all other such nerdome, as experienced by British travelers Graeme Willy (Simon Pegg) and Clive Gollings (Nick Frost).

After attending the San Diego Comic Con, Graeme and Clive rent an RV (recreational vehicle for all you city-folk) and map out a course of extraterrestrial legends across the desert-Southwest of the United States that they plan to visit. As you would expect anywhere outside of New York City, Boston, and Los Angeles, America is inhabited by lunatic right-wing religious nuts carrying guns, wearing camouflage, and spitting on the floor. Clive and Graeme run into such characters and thus begin their flee from the law.

However, in this dramatic flight, they nearly literally run into Paul, an alien (Seth Rogen), with quite an attitute (like Seth Rogen) and a propensity for some of the finer vices of society, (like Seth Rogen).

What they didn't know is that Paul is also being pursued by Special Agent Lorenzo Zoil (Jason Bateman), Agent Haggard (Bill Hader), and Agent O'Reilly (Joe Lo Trulgio) under the direction of "The Big Guy" (Sigourney Weaver).

Along the way, the Brits run into one-eyed redneck Jesus girl named Ruth (Kristen Wiig) and her father Moses Buggs (John Carroll Lynch), of which Graeme strikes up a love interest (with Ruth, not her father).

All tensions culminate at the end with some good ole' fashion violence. The movie is strung together with some hysterical reference to science fiction pop culture (such as Star Wars). Check out the music being played in the country bar! Or the Han Solo reference, which is more subtle.

There are cameo appearances by Jeffrey Tambor, Bateman's castmate on the hysterically funny show Arrested Development, and the occasionally funny David Koechner.

Paul is Rated R for language, violence, drug use, sexual reference, and at times an inappropriate attack on religion, though interestingly, none of the other reviews mentioned that. But then again the other reviews probably came from liberal atheists out of New York and Los Angeles. The movie is about an hour and 45 minutes long.

I thought Paul was very funny at times, but dragged along at others. I agree with some reviews that the movie had a lot of potential and left it on the drawing board. Paul could have been absolutely hysterical, but unfortunately achieves only moderately funny.

I'll beam down 3.4 stars.

The Eagle

The Eagle is a historical fiction about the disappearance of the 9th Legion of the Roman army. Historically true is that the legion advanced north of the Hadriatic wall in Britian, never to be seen again. The Eagle was an important symbol of the time and the legions would defend it to the end.

Despite his father being given up for dead, young Marcus Flavius Aquila (Channing Tatum) requests to post in Britian near where his father would have been. Young Aquila proves himself a valuable warrior and eventually requests a mission to cross the wall and recover The Eagle, despite not knowing its whereabouts. He has the support of his uncle (Donald Sutherland) and is given a slave a British slave named Esca (Jamie Bell) to accompany him.

They set out for the north of Britian, an area now known as the Scottish Highlands and run into a rabble of people, where they fight and show their gallantry in hope of finding The Eagle. Does it still exist? If they do find it, can they actually return it to Rome?

The Eagle is Rated PG-13 for violence and some borish British acting and is just under 2 hours long.

Also staring in the movie are Mark Strong, Tahar Rahim, and Denis O'Hare - all extremely famous actors from the Highlands.

I kept my expectations for this movie low as I've seen some of Channing's other movies (Public Enemies, G.I. Joe, and The Dilemna). However, I actually enjoyed this movie. The storyline was interesting and with it spurred my interest in reading about the actual 9th Legion, some part of history that I was unaware.

Despite the lack of credible actors, I can give The Eagle 3.8 stars.

Real Steel

My wife won tickets to the see this movie, but actually had no interest in seeing in, so she offered the tickets to me and I took my good friend Duckman and we hauled off to White Marsh to see it. We got there a few minutes before it started, but much to our chagrin the only seats left were the ones right at the front where you have to stare straight up to see it. Ugh...

In the future, society has shunned the brutality of humans boxing each other, and instead shifted to boxing robots. Charlie Kenton (Hugh Jackman) is one of the premier boxing robot operators in the world, but certainly not the best. He has a brief encounter with world fame, but quickly falters and begins to wonder if the end of this career path is nearing.

Charlie eventually encounters eleven year old Max (Dakota Goyo) who latches on to him and Charlie humors him by helping him rebuild a relic shadow boxer named Atom and agrees to take him to matches.

Max quickly learns that he does not pocess the skills to operate Atom, but Charlie does. Thus begins their adventure to climb to the top of the boxing world.

So how did I like this movie? This movie was about as predictable as the alphabet. Several times I whispered to my friend what was going to happen next, and low and behold, it happened. He then predicted another scene. One of my Facebook friends, without even seeing the movie, summarized it by saying it is Transformers meets Rocky. Let me tell you, that's not too far from the truth.

Also staring in the movie are Evangeline Lilly, best known for Lost, Kevin Durand, Hope Davis, and James Rebhorn, who you'll remember as the headmaster in Scent of a Woman, and other such movies.

Real Steel is 127 minutes long and Rated PG-13 for violence, language, intense action, and severe predictability.

The movie was moderately average, and have I mentioned predictable? I'll give this movie 2.5 stars. Not bad for a free movie.

Henry's Crime

If you've done the time, do the crime. That's the motto of Henry's Crime. Henry (Keanu Reeves) is convicted of assisting in a bank robbery and does several years in prison in beautifully scenic Buffalo, New York. He didn't do it, but wouldn't turn in his friends that did the crime. And his wife leaves him. Great.

While in prison Henry befriends Max Saltsman (James Caaaaan) and older prisoner that takes him under his wings. While doing his time, Henry and Max learn of each other's crimes. Max is comfortable is prison. It's his home. He's fed. He sleeps. They tell him what to do. It's easy. But Henry's ready to leave. But one thought sticks with him after he hears it while in line getting a haircut: "if you've done the time, do the crime".

After leaving prison, Henry runs into Julie Ivanova (Vera Fermiga), an actress in a play at a theater that sits next to the bank. Perhaps she's a asset to commit his crime, and perhaps they really fall in love. And perhaps this is a bogus adventure.

This movie moved really slow. Bill and Ted are convincingly not very intelligent. Shane Falco suffers from lack of compelling dialog. Why Julie would even let Neo into her life is beyond me. I like James Caaaaaaan. His character is believable and very interesting, as always. Farmiga is okay. I certainly wouldn't expect any Hollywood awards for this film.

Henry's Crime was directed by Malcolm Venville, who's also known for the compelling and heart warming movie 44 Inch Chest. Also starring in the movie are Judy Greer and his pretty, but shallow wife, Fisher Stevens as a former friend and criminal, Peter Stomare as the director, and Bill Duke as the security group.

Henry's Crime is rated R for language and some sexual situations. The language seemed to be randomly placed, giving the impression that it was added with the intention of grabbing that R rating. Remove a few F-bombs and two scenes of moving bed sheets and this movie is easily rated PG-13.

I found myself watching the timer on the DVD player hoping it would almost be over. As much as I have been hoping for 20 years that Keanu Reeve's movie career is on the cusp of turning around, this movie isn't it. I give Henry's Crime 2.4 stars.

Boogie Woogie

When I first saw that Heather Graham was in this movie, I thought to myself, 'this is the second movie she's starred in with the word "boogie" (Boogie Nights was the other). It has nothing to do with nasal drippings. It has to do with dancing and art.


Boogie Woogie is considered a cerebral drama, based in London. Heather Graham plays the role of Beth Freemantle, the assistant and rising star at an art gallery. She works for Art Spindle (Danny Huston), the arrogant and manipulative studio owner. But more importantly, Amanda Seyfried is in the movie starring as a hired assistant named Paige Oppenheimer. Also important to the movie is Alan Cumming as Dewey Dalamanatousis, the flamboyant artist who wants to get his art displayed.

The film tracks these different members of different classes of society. The money rules, and those struggling want some of that money.

The plot of this movie is fairly thin. However, the characters are awesome. Dewey is that weenie of a guy that you really can't stand, but yet harbour sympathy for the fight against the way he is treated. Danny Huston is at the top of his game. He is such an absolute ass and he has an intolerable, yet catching laugh. "ha-ha. HA_HA!!" I find myself repeating it often. It's so phony, but so awesome.

And of course we have both the lovely Amanda Seifried and Heather Graham. The movie also stars Gillian Anderson, Stellen Skarsgard, Jack Huston, and Charlotte Rampling, whom you may remember being totally nude in The Swimming Pool.

Boogie Woogie is Rated R for strong sexual content, graphic nudity (genitals), language, and drug use. Boogie Woogie is 94 minutes long. Fairly short for a non-romantic comedy.

By the way, Boogie Woogie is the name of the famous painting in the movie that they were pursuing. It was owned by Mr Alfred Rhinegold (Christopher Lee), an impoverished gentleman who is being pushed to sell the valuable painting.

Overall, the movie was okay. Like I said, the plot is thin, but the characters are excellent. I would watch this movie again, but need to give it some time. Ha-ha. HA-HA!!! I give it 3.3 stars.

Hall Pass

Hall Pass is a movie that most middle-aged men can relate to. And don't use prepositions to end sentences with.

Rick (Owen Wilson) and Fred (Jason Sudeikis) are two middle aged men who are unhappy with their sex lives. Their wives, Grace (Christina Applegate) and Maggie (Jenna Fischer) get tired of catching them looking at other women and surfing porn. They talk with their friend Dr. Lucy (Joy Behar, who I swear her real name is Joy Blowhard) and Dr. Lucy suggests giving their husbands hall passes. This is a pass to do whatever they want for one week and it will save their marriage. This pass includes flirting with women, kissing women, and having sex with other women. In this age of sexually transmitted diseases, this seems to be a big turnoff to me, but if you can be shallow and just look at the intent without the consequences, this could be interesting.

The wives skip town with their kids and the boys are left at home to do as they please. However, they soon realize that they are not 20 anymore. Picking up girls isn't that easy when you're in your 40's. The movie is pretty funny throughout much of the first half. Seeing the guys drinking at the bar that turns out to be Applebee's cracked me up!

The movie has a nice twist when the women put their guard down and start meeting men. At this point I figured out the rest of the movie.

Hall Pass is definitely funnier in the first half compared to the second half. It lacks direction past the first hour and seems to be mostly filler until they can come to a conclusion.

The movie has cameos by former Who's the Boss starlet Alyssa Milano and former Red Sox and Baltimore Orioles player Dwight Evans, in addition to comedian Bo Burnham, and J.B. Smoove.

Hall Pass is directed by the Farrelly brothers, Peter and Bobby. You'll recognize their other romantic comedies and regular comedies, such as Dumb and Dumber, Something About Mary, Me, Myself, and Irene, Shallow Hal, and Fever Pitch.

Hall Pass is Rated R and is 105 minutes long. For those of you who attended Baltimore City public schools this is an hour and 45 minutes. The R-Rating is for some language and nudity, but the straight guys will be disappointed as it was penises. For you gay guys, you'll be super excited!

I did get a few good laughs in this movie, so despite that they came in the first 55 minutes, I'll give Hall Pass 3 stars.

Kill the Irishman

Based on a really interesting true story, Kill the Irishman stars Ray Stevenson as Danny Greene, an Irishman who rises to power in the mafia in Cleveland. The movie opens being set in the 1960's on the Cleveland waterfront. Tired of being bullied and overworked, Danny takes the necessary steps to help his union. This eventually leads him to bigger and better things, until eventually he's basically running the Cleveland mafia

Danny Greene's fate is obvious, and it's his murder and investigation that helped the Justice Department bring down the notorious mobster families in New York. Those cases were tried by future New York City Mayor Rudy Guiliani.

In addition to Ray Stevenson, the movie stars Vincent D'Onofrio as Greene's closest ally. You'll remember D'Onofrio from his younger days when he played Private Pyle in Full Metal Jacket. Also starring in the moving is Christopher Walken as on of the mob connections in Cleveland who helps run money from New York, Val Kilmer as the Cleveland detective, Linda Cardellini as his first wife (remember her from Freaks and Geeks?), Tony Darrow, a real-life mobster who also starred in The Sopranos, Paul Sorvino, from Law and Order and he played a mobster in Goodfellas, and finally Laura Ramsey, the very attractive girlfriend of Danny Greene.

The movie was directed by Jonathan Hensleigh, but I read a review of the movie in the Cleveland Plain Dealer that humorously said 'had Danny Greene lived and operated in New York, he would have been a higher profile gangster and the movie would ultimately have been directed by Martin Scorsese and starred Robert de Niro.

Kill the Irishman is Rated R for strong violence (shootings and car bombs), language, and nudity (Laura Ramsey...gggrrrrr)

I really liked this movie. I'd have to say this is one of the better movies that I've seen this year. Had I realized that this movie was based on a true story prior to watching it, I probably would have enjoyed it even more. As it was, once the movie finished and those closing comments came on the screen, I thought, "Oh, crap! I didn't know that!"

Given what I know now and how much I liked this movie while watching it without the historical benefit, I give Kill the Irishman 4.5 stars.