Red

In Bruce Willis' latest super secret agent movie, he plays Frank Moses, an ex-CIA secret operative who is in retirement, but is forced out of retirement when he learns that someone has a hit out on him. To make matters worse, these hitmen are also after the phone representative girl (Mary-Louise Parker) that he calls everyday because he's in love with her. Now he must save himself, and her. And he's never met her.

Assisting him on the hunt for the person who put out a hit on him are former ex-CIA secret operatives Nelson Mandella (who convincingly played Morgan Freeman once in a movie - or was it the other way around?), John Malkovich (who starred in Being John Malkovich), and Helen Mirren.

Also staring in the movie are 200 year old Ernest Borgnine, Richard Dreyfuss, Julian McMahon, and Karl Urban.

An interesting point about Julian McMahon - he played the Vice President running for President in the movie. In real life, McMahon is the son of a former Prime Minister of Australia - Sir William McMahon.

Red, which stands for Retired Extremely Dangerous, is more of an action comedy. There were plenty of parts that made me laugh. There is a lot of shooting, not a lot of blood, and a curse word here and there. The movie is rated PG-13 for said shooting and language.

I was adequately entertained by Red and it's nearly continuous sequence of action. I find it suffice to give it 3.5 stars.

Super Fuzz

I saw this movie for the first time sometime in the early 1980's on HBO when I was a kid. I recall thinking it was funny and that the music was awesome. When we joined Netflix a few years ago I looked up this movie and it was not available. However, Netflix allowed you to add it to your queue and when it became available it would be listed as one of the available movies.

A few weeks ago I noticed that the move was moved from the "Saved" DVD queue up to my active DVD queue. And last week it was released to the public. However, I didn't get it until Friday. And I watched it....on Friday.

Super Fuzz is about a rookie cop named Dave Speed (Terence Hill - the famous Italian actor) who is sent by Sgt. Willy Dunlop (Ernest Borgnine) to an offshore island (as a prank) to serve a parking ticket warrant. What neither of them knew was that a nuclear bomb was going to be tested over the island. Dave Speed survives the explosion and suddenly finds that he has super powers. However, his super powers seem to come and go and he doesn't know why.

Officer Speed returns to duty and drives his Sergeant crazy with his new powers, which the sarg doesn't believe. Meanwhile, Sarg has a giant crush on Rosy Labouche (Joanne Dru) and learns that she is coming to town. What he doesn't know is that she is tied to the local mob. When Rosy learns how to disable Officer Speed's powers, she frames him for the murder of Sarg. Can justice be served before Officer Speed is put to the electric chair?

Originally released in Italy and named Poliziottot Superpiu in 1980, Super Fuzz was directed by Italian director Sergio Corbucci who directed many unfamous Italian movies. Rated PG for some minor violence, a little cussing, and an almost topless dancer, Super Fuzz is 97 minutes long and also stars Marc Lawrence and Julie Gordon as Speed's girlfriend.

The movie is super cornie. The special effects are very funny, even by 1980 standards. The music is groovy. I've never heard a single song played in one movie as much as "Super Super" was played throughout Super Fuzz. However, it's quintessential 80's. If you like all things 80's you will love this movie. And for this I give Super Fuzz 5 stars. Even my kids thought it was funny. And that makes it a winner!

Strange Wilderness

I got Strange Wilderness from Netflix on Saturday. It wasn't a well-advertised movie. But because there weren't any new releases this week, I thought I'd get it. It should be funny enough. It stars Steve Zahn (Rescue Dawn, Employee of the Month, Riding in Cars With Boys), Allen Covert (who's in every Adam Sandler movie), Jonah Hill (Superbad, Evan Almighty, Knocked Up), Justin Long (the Apple guy), Harry Hamlin (L.A. Law), and Ernest Borgnine, the hardest working 91 year old in Hollywood (Mermaid Man!).

Boy was I wrong! Sometimes I should pay attention to those stars on the movie. This one predicted that I would give it 2 stars. And it was right!

The premise of the movie is Peter Gaulk is struggling to keep his father's nature show, Strange Wilderness on the air. Ever since his father died, he has been trying to keep up the show, but he's a pot-smoking bumbling buffoon. And his camera man is a pot-smoking bumbling buffoon. And the sound guy smokes pot, too. And I'm not sure what Justin Long did with the crew other than smoke pot and bongs.

In an effort to save their show, they decide to go find Big Foot. Not only do they find him, but they shoot him up with machine guns when they find him because they all freaked out. Not sure why this was funny - or supposed to be funny. Near the end of the movie, they all started yelling at each other and calling everyone a bunch of "F-in A-H's" and then the physical fight broke out.

Lot's of cussing. Mostly the F-Bomb. Now that I think about it, Jonah Hill doesn't say much more other than F - in ALL of his movies.

This movie is rated R for drug use, crude and sexual humor, and, as Netflix put it, "non-stop language". And they ain't kidding! The movie is 86 minutes long, so the suffering won't last forever. The movie is directed by Fred Wolf, most noted for his involvement with Ducktales. I guess he's trying to break out of his stereotype. He wins. He went from being kid-friendly to dickhead.

As mentioned previously, I give this movie 2 stars. There were a few things that did make me laugh, but the 43,018 F words were just a bit for me. Ignore this movie and see Ducktales instead.

Convoy

One of my greatest interests as a young child was tractor trailers. I had a shiney folder for school that displayed the new 1979 Peterbuilt trucks. This was my favorite folder ever. Needless to say, Sam Peckinpah's 1978 movie hased on C.W. McCall's song Convoy was one of my favorite movies.

The movie stars Highwayman member Kris Kristofferson, who I learned dated Janis Joplin and was married to Rita Coolidge (We're All Alone). Also in the movie is Ali MacGraw, Ernest Borgnine (known to kids today as Mermaid Man from Sponge Bob Square Pants), and Burt Young, most notable as Paulie, Adrian's brother in the Rocky movies.

The movie is a classic trucker movie, though there seem to be many parallels between this movie and the 1977 Smokey and the Bandit movie, except that Convoy was not a comedy. Kristofferson plays "the Rubber Duck", which is his CB handle. He picks up MacGraw at a truckstop after a full fledged fight with the police, most notably Sheriff Lyle Wallace, the "Cottonmouth", played by Borgnine. Sheriff Wallace is a corrupt racist cop that demands cash payments for tickets and is always out to get truckers.

The rest of the movie sees the truckers racing out of Arizona to escape the law. However, the Sheriff gets the Governor and federal officials after him. There's plenty of smash-em up, crash-em up scenes. And the trucker lingo is great.

One of my favorite lines in the movie is when one of the trucks overturns after turning left on a road. The lady driving the truck, nicknamed the Black Widow, is a black woman. She gets out of the truck stomping on the ground yelling, "This piece of white shit! I knew I should have bought a black truck!"

Another great line was when Ali MacGraw was questioning the Rubber Duck about his mission. He basically said that he wasn't on a mission, just running from the law. She says that there was a mile of trucks following him. He turned and corrected her. "There not following me. I just happen to be in front."

And finally, when asked why he was called the Rubber Duck, he repsonds, "Because it rhymes with "luck." See, my daddy always told me to be just like a duck. Stay smooth on the surface and paddle like the devil underneath!"

The movie is a little under 2 hours long and is rated PG, which is deceiving because it's a 1978 PG. At the beginning of the movie, it said it was rated PG for some adult content. I figured this to mean adult situations. No. This meant lot's of cussing, though no F-bombs, lots of fighting, a nice pear of breasts in the sleeper cab, and some sexual situations.

This movie has more sentimental value for me, so my rating is probably bias. I gave this movie 4 stars. It has trucks, country music, pretty girls, and fighting. What more could I guy ask for?