Ghosts of Girlfriends Past

I watched this movie back-to-back with The Proposal, so it's sort of like a visual romantic comedy orgy.

Ghosts of Girlfriends past stars Matthew McConaughey's handsome face and quick and funny one-liners, but not his acting ability, in addition to Jennifer Garner, and Michael Douglas.

McConaughey plays Conner Mead, the orphaned nephew of Douglas (Uncle Wayne) who grows up having to raise his little brother Paul (Breckin Meyer). While growing up, Conner has a budding relationship with Jenny Perotti (Garner). However, after spending some time with Uncle Wayne, Conner learns that you need to treat girls like dirt and rack up as many as you can. This will make you happy. Or so he thought.

Conner Mead returns home for his brother's wedding and is reunited with Jenny. The old flame heats up, but Conner plays it cool and smooth. Unfortuantely, Conner being Conner, starts ruining the rehearsal evening and possibly threating the wedding. That night, however, like the Christmas Carol, Conner is visited by the ghosts of girlfriends past, the ghost of girlfriends present, and the ghost of the future. Scaring the crap out of him, he vows to make up for his wrongs.

This romantic comedy, also predictable, has some funny twists that made me laugh, but for the most part is just McConaughey running around trying to be cool, but also acting like a fool. Meanwhile, Jennifer Garner is still a bit of a pretensious woman who wants to find the best in people. I still find her attractive, but not as much as in previous movies.

Ghosts of Girlfriends Past was directed by Mark Waters who also directed The Spiderwick Chronicles and Just Like Heaven (a Reese Witherspoon movie!). The movie is an hour and 40 minutes long, another requirement of romantic comedies. It is rated PG-13 for sexual content, language, and some drug content, all requirements. So it appears that this movie has met the recipe requirements for a romantic comedy, so it passes.

I thought this movie was just average. Nothing thrilling, nothing too funny, no man-women interactions that gave me that tingle. So I'm just gonig to have to give this movie the standard 3 stars.

The Proposal

The Proposal is a fairly new release to DVD with a handful of well-known actors, including Ryan Reynolds, who starred in several movies in the past 2 years (including X-Men Origins: Wolverine, Paper Man, Adventureland, and Definitely, Maybe), Sanda Bullock, Betty White, Mary Steenburgen, and Craig T. Nelson, better known as Coach.

Reynolds plays Andrew Paxton, an aspiring writer who works for dragon lady bitch Margaret Tate (Bullock) at a prestigious editing firm. Upon learning that her Canadian visa is expiring and she's threatened with deportation, she informs her company that Andrew and she are getting married, much to Andrew's chagrin. Fearing losing his position and being black-listed in the industry if he fails to comply with her demands, he succumbs to her threat. Unfortunately, the INS (Immigration and Naturalization Service) is on to her and they are out to prove that the wedding is a fraud.

In an effort to learn more about each other and pad their story, they head to Alaska for Andrew's grandmother's (White) 90th birthday. However, as Bullock, who grew up without a family, learns more about Andrew and his wonderful family, she starts reflecting upon herself and perhaps sees that some change is in order.

As with any romantic comedy, predictability is key. So if 2 people are forced to fake a marriage in order for one of them to stay in the country, what do you suspect will happen to the real relationship between them? Of course!

The Proposal was directed by Anne Fletcher who also directed 27 Dresses. The movie is an hour and 40 minutes long and is rated PG-13 for sexual content, language, and nudity, which is really just Sandra Bullock running around with one hand over her genitals and another across her breasts. So even though she's technically naked, you ain't gonna see anything. But I'm sure that you're not going to complain either.

I have always been a fan of Bullock and I think she looks pretty darn good for 45 years old. And Ryan Reynolds seems like a pretty cool dude. No, it's not a man crush. This comedy will make you laugh and is generally an enjoyable movie. I'll give it 4 stars.

Brüno

This movie sucks. Don't watch it.

Oh, did you want more of a review? Okay.

Having watched Borat, which I thought was absolutely hysterical, I knew I had to watch Bruno. I thought I knew what the premise was - a homosexual fashion reporter coming to America to try and make a name for himself. He would use his overzealous homosexuality in awkward situations with people that you would expect not to be tolerant of homosexuals. Fair enough. I know what I'm getting. Sacha Baron Cohen is still funny. I can get past the other, right? Not quite.

Bruno is a homo-erotic sexcapade whose only objective is in-your-face homosexuality with intentions of crossing the barriers of decency to the point that people (the ones watching the movie) are uncomfortable. Sure, there were a couple of funny parts. But watching him do the windmill with his penis, simulated oral sex, and ram-rodding, are just not funny. And when it seems to be persistant and pervasive, it is just irritating.

A friend forwarded a review to me written by a gay person that said that even open-minded people would react uncomfortably and that the movie in general is just in bad taste. Another friend said that she was sorry she hadn't given me that feedback either. She saw it earlier and said it was totally not worth watching.

So, for what it's worth, Bruno is rated R (though that was generous) for pervasive and crude homosexual content, graphic penises, and language. Bruno is 82 minutes too long, and has cameos by Ron Paul, Paula Abdul, Elton John, Bono, Harrison Ford, and Richard Bey.

Some reviews have stated that this movie is not appropriate for kids. I say if you let your children watch this movie then Child Protective Services should storm your house and take immediate custody of your children and have you arrested.

My rating system is 1 through 5, so I cannot legitimately give it zero stars, so Bruno earns the dubious 1 star award.

Netflix Delay

Another delay. I dropped My Life In Ruins in the mailbox yesterday, but Netflix has no idea where it is today. Perhaps I should find another mailbox.

Taking of Pelham 123

This is a remake of the 1974 film that had a decent cast including Walter Matthau, Robert Shaw, Dick O'Neill, and future Seinfeld show husband and wife Jerry Stiller and Doris Roberts.

The modern version of the movie, that includes a lot more cussing, includes Denzel Washington, John Travolta, Luis Guzmán, John Tuturro, and James Gandolfini, who goes from the head of the mob in The Sopranos to the mayor of the city.

In the 35 years that have passed since the original, the plot has changed very little. A New York subway train is hijacked (the Pelham 123) and stopped in a tunnel. Through some mechanical wizardry, they are able to take over the communications and begin making their demands to dispatch.

Recently demoted to train dispatcher because of a bribery investigation, Zachary Garber (Denzel) initially makes contact with criminal mastermind Ryder (Travolta). Despite the disparity of their roles in the current situation, they form a bond because they know what it's like when the man comes down on them.

This exciting thriller is full of action and hostile dialog, which means a lot of cussing, much like you would expect from a movie with hostages and a crazed man with guns. The Taking of Pelham 123 was directed by Tony Scott, a well known director who has other thrillers on his resume such as Spy Game, Enemy of the State, Crimson Tide (another Denzel movie), and Top Gun.

The movie is an hour and 40 minutes long and is rated R for non-stop F bombs and violence, which includes shooting and intense car accidents.

I enjoyed watching this movie and having seen the original version recently, enjoyed looking for the parallels between the two movies. There are some differences, but I think Tony Scott did a good job of not deviating too much from the original to make this an entirely different movie.

I give The Taking of Pelham 123 1-2-3-4 stars.

The Answer Man

An independent film (Indie Film) originally known as Arlen Faber, The Answer Man stars Jeff Daniels as, hark, Arlen Faber, an author of spiritually-related inspirational books.

Arlen is an intelligent man who has answers to a lot of simple questions. Logic is his ally, though he plays it off as inspiration from God. A pathological jerk, Faber tries to hide from society as he suffers from his own psychoses. However, circumstances, such as a bad back, force him to interact with society and that is when he runs into a single mother (Lauren Graham - Flash of Genius, Because I Said So, & Evan Almighty) who really doesn't give a crap about who he is and he finds that moderately intriguing.

Also staring in the movie is Kris (Lou Taylor Pucci) who is a recovering alcoholic who lives with an alcoholic. Kris owns a bookstore that buys back books and Faber likes to return all of his books for money. Unfortunately for Kris, times are tough and Faber is the thorn in his side at the worst possible time.

Now that Faber is falling in love, he starts to loosen up a bit and without this veil of ambivalence towards society, starts to show some compassion.

This romantic drama is rated R for language and is 97 minutes long. Directed by John Hindman, the movie also stars a couple of really cute girls whom I would not mind seeing again - Olivia Thirlby and Kat Dennings.

I liked this movie a lot and give it 4 stars. I got several good laughs from it. And if you are a weeper, this movie will probably move you to tears.

After having reviewed the movie, I checked Jeff Daniels' movies and realized that I have rated his movies at least 4 stars 6 times. That's pretty darn good.

How Green Was My Valley

One of things that I am trying to do with my movie watching is pick off the winners of the Best Picture. How Green Was My Valley was the winner in 1941. The movie is based on the book by Richard Llewellyn about life in the mining towns in Wales during the late 1800's or early 1900's from the perspective of young Huw Morgan, though now told through his eyes as an older man.

The movie stars Walter Pidgeon (who has a magnificant voice) as Mr. Gruffydd, a very beautiful Maureen O'Hara as Angharad Morgan, Huw's sister, and Roddy McDowall as Huw Morgan. Roddy is probably better known as one of the apes from Planet of the Apes during its heyday in the 1960's.

Life in the mining town was peaceful, but soon turned sour when talks of unionization started and rumors of communist ties began to be associated with different residents. Huw, appearing to have a higher intelligence than most of his townsfolk, is sent off to another town to attend school, but soon learns of the prejudices and stereostypes that afflict his town. He quickly learns to fight to protect himself and his valley's honor.

Meanwhile, rumors spread of an unholy relationship between Mr. Gruffydd, the new preacher in town, and Angharad. Though not true, the rumors destroy the reputation of the good preacher and he ends up leaving the Church and Angharad's reputation is likewise soiled.

Throughout the movie tragedies strike, mostly at the mine and the Morgan's begin to lose the members of their family and Huw has little interest in staying in the Valley. Eventually, everything good that once represented the town has disintegrated. What was once a green valley is now one covered in the gray and black slag of the mine, and the happy smiling faces of the singing townsfolk are now the quiet saddened & ruined faces of a people whose spirits have been destroyed.

How Green Was My Valley won numerous awards including Best Picture for Producer Darryl F. Zanuck, Best Director for John Ford, Best Supporting Actor for Donald Crisp for his role as Gwilym Morgan, the patriarch of the family, Best Black-and-White Cinematography, and Best Black-and-White Art Direction-Interior Decoration.

The Award for Best Director was significant for John Ford as it was the third year in a row that he had won the award, the others being Stagecoach in 1939, and The Grapes of Wrath in 1940.

The movie is just under 2 hours long and was produced prior to movie ratings, though there is nothing that would garner it anything other than a G-rating except that it wouldn't draw an audience unless it had a PG rating.

I read the book several years ago and admit that it is one of my favorite books. Given that, I criticize the movie for what it is missing, though if it did icnlude everything in the book the movie would be about 6 hours long. I therefore give How Green Was My Valley a hesitant 3 stars.