Machete

Machete is an action comedy that shows the conflicting and often hypocritical interests in dealing with the millions of illegal aliens that cross in from Mexico every year.

When Mexican Federale Machete (Danny Trejo) is double-crossed, attacked, and left for dead, he is forced to flee May-hi-co and remain in the underground.

Several years later, superstar border agent Sartana Rivera (Jessica Alba) comes across him while monitoring action of the taco truck run by underground leader Luz (Michelle Rodriguez). In South Texas, tensions are high with the keeping out illegal aliens. Texas Senator John McLaughlin is running for reelection on the platform of killin' 'em and closing the borders.

Meanwhile, Machete is finding his way around Texas. He is found fighting handsomely in the streets and is recruited by Von Jackson (Don Johnson) to assassinate the Senator. Meanwhile, the Mexican Mafia is led by Torrez (Steven Seagal) who is giving orders from south of the border .

The movie sports an all-star cast that also includes Cheech Marin, Lindsay Lohan (who is entirely naked throughout most of the movie), and Jeff Fahey.

Machete is Rated R for lots of nudity (boobies and buttocks - including Jessica Alba), violence (including decapitations and torso thrashings), and language. The violence in many scenes would almost be considered cartoonish. Just tons of blood. Everywhere. And severed limbs.

This movie is ridiculous. As an example, there is one scene where there is an entire courtyard brawl with guns and swords and machetes. Someone pulls out a machine gun and shoots all of the swords and guns and machetes and no one is hurt. Nearly everyone in the movie gets killed. Several people are gored entirely through their torso, but are able to continue their conversation for several more minutes before they die.

I read a couple of reviews and it said that the movie dealt with the conflicts of illegal immigration. I get that many businesses want the illegal immigration for its artificial low wages. But others want to close the borders because they are stealing jobs from Americans. To me, this movie was just an opportunity to make Americans look like a bunch of uneducated racist rednecks, thus making it easier to stomach killing them.

One positive was it was interesting to see Robert DeNiro not be a New York gangster. The other positive - lots of naked girls. If it weren't for all of the skin in the movie, I would have given this 1 star. But because of that bias, I'll go as high as 2.2.

Everybody's Fine

Recently released to DVD and sent to me by Netflix, Everybody's Fine is Robert De Niro's latest movie.

De Niro plays Frank, a recent widower, who plans a big family weekend at his house. Unfortunately, his four kids are spread out all over the country and he hasn't seen them since his wife died 8 months ago. After all of them cancel their visit, he decides to visit them individually. After dropping in unexpectedly at his first son David's he finds that he is not there, so he head's off to his daughter Amy's house, then the other kids. But each child has an excuse as to why they can't spend time with him.

At each house he finds that things aren't quite what he expected. He is slowly learning things about his children that he didn't know. His high expectations of them were shielded by his wife, but without her the truth starts to be revealed, and all is not rosy. Many scenes are accompanied with flashbacks to his children as he remembers them when they were younger. Pay attention to the details of this movie because many of them come back to you at the end.

Robert De Niro is great in this movie. If you are in your late 20's, 30's, or even early 40's - this is your dad. His little idiosyncrasies and total lack of acceptance of today will totally remind you of your father. I think this is one of his finest performances in a while.

Judging the movie by the cover you would think it was a comedy. After all they are all smiling, right? While there are funny parts to the movie, this is no comedy. This is a gut-wrenching tear-jerker. At the end of the movie my wife said it sucked. Then this morning she commented that she can't stop thinking about it. This made me think that it wasn't the movie that sucked, it was the sad situations that she didn't like. The movie definitely has a lasting impression.

In addition to De Niro, Drew Barrymore, Sam Rockwell, and Kate Beckinsale star as his children. Directed by Kirk Jones (who also did Nanny McPhee and Waking Ned Devine), Everybody's Fine is 99 minutes long and Rated PG-13 for "thematic elements" and some brief language, but also many scenes that will bring you to tears unless you absolutely have no heart.

Though not what I expected, the movie definitely had a solid impact and was sad and depressing. For bringing out these emotions, I think this movie deserves 4 stars.

Synecdoche, New York

If you are a fan of artistic movies, then you're dumb and you're not going to like this blog entry.

I got Synecdoche, New York from Netflix recently. If you don't get it yet, it's a play on Schenectady, New York. Schenectady being an economically shrinking town in New York full of formerly employed New Yorkers who do not want to live in the state capital of Albany.

Synecdoche, on the other hand, is a part of speech, a term denoting a part of something that is used to refer to the whole. I think of the term Nazi, which when heard conjurs up impages of German soldiers in World War II and a general refrence to Germany as a whole. However, this is not entirely accurate as Nazi was a political party and I think you could argue that most people that lived in Germany were not Nazis, though most were conscripted into service and fought for their cause. Do you think that the Germans would talk about how the Democrats were bombing Berlin?

Back to the movie. Synecdoche, New York stars Philip Seymour-Hoffman, who I think is taking cues from Robert De Niro. Hoffman has starred in 7 movies in less than 2 1/2 years, including Charlie Wilson's War, The Savages, and Before the Devil Knows Your Dead. Also starring in the movie is Catherine Keener, also taking cues from RDN, with 9 movies since 2007, including What Just Happened, with RDN, The Soloist, and Into the Wild. Minor roles include Jennifer Jason Leigh, Samantha Morton, Michelle Williams, and Diane West.

The movie tracks the life of director Caden Cotard who is staging an autobiographic play of his life. He was won a grant that endows him unlimited resources to produce his play. However, the play never seems to get completed. Cotard ages, his child grows up to participate in unsavory activities, and his wife leaves him. Cotard becomes neurotic and a hypochondirac.

Meanwhile, the set for his play becomes larger and larger, eventually occupying a reall large warehouse that comes to include a miniature cut-out of New York City. He hires an actor to play him, who, in an attempt to recreate Cotard, hires an actor to play the actor who plays Cotard.

I get the humor in the movie. I'm sure this would have made a hysterical book. However, the movie is long and drawn out. It's sort of dark humor or tragic comedy. And, yes, spoiler alert, nearly everyone dies in the end, but don't we all die in the end?

Synecdoche, New York is rated R for language, sexual content and nudity, and confusing dialog. Fortunately, this movie cuts out right near the 2 hour mark and not the 40 year mark like the play.

I am not a huge fan of the artistic movies, nor of the dark comedies. I didn't care for Broken Roses. Didn't like Burn After Reading. I did understand the comedy, but I was just not a fan of it. I give this movie 2 stars.

What Just Happened?

What Just Happened? (WJH?) is the 2nd of two movies released this year staring Robert De Niro, the other being Righteous Kill. As one of my co-workers said, "I think Robert De Niro is trying to see how many movies he can make." Based on this movie, he's not being too picky about the scripts that he accepts.

WJH stars RDN as a producer of a movie that is currently being presented in front of test audiences for reaction. The audience does not like the final scene, so the backers of the movie request that the director change the ending. The director goes nuts (which is kind of funny).

Meanwhile, RDN has several former relationships that he is trying to maintain, though unsuccessfully. He spends most of the movie driving from one place to another trying to catch up with everyone via his cell phone.

Moreover, negotiations for a new movie are not going well because Bruce Willis refuses to shave his beard. He begins acting like those brats on The Real World, which is about as real as professional wrestling.

Back at movie land, the director is finally convinced to change his movie and the ending, though predictable, is somewhat funny. However, it took a long time for the movie to get there.

The dialog in this movie is horrible and has no fluency to it. The scenes are choppy from one to another and the constant tension between all of the characters makes for a movie of no protagonists, just a bunch of loosely connected antagonists.

The movie stars, in addition to De Niro and Willis, Sean Penn, his wife Robin Wright Penn, and Catherine Keener. The movie was directed by Baltimore native Barry Levinson, known for such good movies as The Natural, Diner, Wag the Dog, and Bee Movie. Chalk this one up as 'Not one of his Best Works'.

The movie is Rated R for language, depicted violence, sexual content, drug use, and bad acting. Fortunately the movie is 104 minutes long and not 120.

Based on the fact that I was looking forward to the end of the movie, I would have to say that it was not a good one. The comical scenes with the director saved this movie from a 1 star and earned it a 2 star. Be forewarned. Hopefully the 5 movies that De Niro makes next year will be better.

Once Upon A Time In America

Any movie with Robert De Niro is a good movie to me. One of the most versatile and prolific actors of our times, RDN is that likable guy, whether he's a good guy or a bad guy.

I picked this movie up off of the library shelf, not knowing the movie, but seeing RDN's picture on the front cover. It's an older movie, came out in 1984. There will probably be a 25th anniversary silver screen edition coming out next year. Oh, well.

The movie has a cast of well known actors including James Woods, who seems to have dedicated his life to Disney movies, Elizabeth McGovern, who put out some great movies early in her career (Ordinary People, Ragtime, Racing With the Moon), Treat Williams, Joe F'in Pesci, Danny Aiello, and Burt Young (Adrian's brother Paulie in Rocky).

The movie is set to several time spans. Much of the beginning of the movie is set in the early 1900's as RDN's character Noodles is growing up. There he becomes friends with Max (Woods) and they begin doing odd jobs for the local mafia. They finally make it big during Prohibition with a method for retrieving cases of alcohol that are dumped overboard in the river.

Meanwhile, Noodles is in love with McGovern's character Deborah. As a kid, he is often shown peeking at her while she dances and at one point she undresses knowing he is watching through the peephole. There's another racy scene of them in the bathroom, keeping in mind, they are both still young teenagers. The movie has been criticized for its use of underage sex. However, the imagery is appropriate.

As they grew older, they got more involved in the mafia, crime, and politics. The movie ties it all together and shows how they got where they are, all in dramatic fashion.

There was a lot of controversy surrounding this film, in addition to the sexual imagery. The movie was made by Italian producer Sergio Leone, best known for his 'spaghetti westerns' such as Fistfull of Dollars, For A Few Dollars More, and The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly. However, the original cut when released at the Cannes Festival was 3 hours and 49 minutes. Warner Brothers demanded that the movie be cut dramatically for its cinematic debut. The movie lost 90 minutes, mostly of the ground-setting flashback scenes. In addition, the original version of the movie is non-sequential. The cinematic release is in chronological order, allowing the movie to lose much of its relevance.

It did take me much of my life to watch the entire movie. Actually it took about a week and half worth of ironing clothes at night to see the whole movie. However, I thoroughly enjoyed it. I give this movie 5 stars. I think that this is one that everyone should see at least once in their lifetime. And they did a great job of predicting what RDN would look like when he gets old. As I was watching it, I thought 'how did they get the old De Niro in the movie? Oh, yeah, that's makeup.'