Machete

Machete is an action comedy that shows the conflicting and often hypocritical interests in dealing with the millions of illegal aliens that cross in from Mexico every year.

When Mexican Federale Machete (Danny Trejo) is double-crossed, attacked, and left for dead, he is forced to flee May-hi-co and remain in the underground.

Several years later, superstar border agent Sartana Rivera (Jessica Alba) comes across him while monitoring action of the taco truck run by underground leader Luz (Michelle Rodriguez). In South Texas, tensions are high with the keeping out illegal aliens. Texas Senator John McLaughlin is running for reelection on the platform of killin' 'em and closing the borders.

Meanwhile, Machete is finding his way around Texas. He is found fighting handsomely in the streets and is recruited by Von Jackson (Don Johnson) to assassinate the Senator. Meanwhile, the Mexican Mafia is led by Torrez (Steven Seagal) who is giving orders from south of the border .

The movie sports an all-star cast that also includes Cheech Marin, Lindsay Lohan (who is entirely naked throughout most of the movie), and Jeff Fahey.

Machete is Rated R for lots of nudity (boobies and buttocks - including Jessica Alba), violence (including decapitations and torso thrashings), and language. The violence in many scenes would almost be considered cartoonish. Just tons of blood. Everywhere. And severed limbs.

This movie is ridiculous. As an example, there is one scene where there is an entire courtyard brawl with guns and swords and machetes. Someone pulls out a machine gun and shoots all of the swords and guns and machetes and no one is hurt. Nearly everyone in the movie gets killed. Several people are gored entirely through their torso, but are able to continue their conversation for several more minutes before they die.

I read a couple of reviews and it said that the movie dealt with the conflicts of illegal immigration. I get that many businesses want the illegal immigration for its artificial low wages. But others want to close the borders because they are stealing jobs from Americans. To me, this movie was just an opportunity to make Americans look like a bunch of uneducated racist rednecks, thus making it easier to stomach killing them.

One positive was it was interesting to see Robert DeNiro not be a New York gangster. The other positive - lots of naked girls. If it weren't for all of the skin in the movie, I would have given this 1 star. But because of that bias, I'll go as high as 2.2.