Beowulf

I'm not quite sure what to say about this movie. It was released on DVD this week and I knew that I had to see it. Today, I am not sure why I had to see it.

Beowulf is like a dark version of Shrek. The movie, like Shrek, is computer animation. I was watching a cartoon! I didn't realize this, though I have to admit that I didn't put much thought into it when I saw the commercials.

Beowulf, as any 12th grader studying British literature can tell you, is said to be the first written story. It dates from the 8th -11th century. Beowulf is the hero who defeats Grendel, the giant monster-like creature that attacks Heorot, in what is probably Denmark. He must then defeat Grendal's mother and later a dragon.

The movie stars Ray Winstone as the cartoon image of Beowulf, Anthony Hopkins as Hrothgar, and Angelina Jolie, who plays the often totally naked, but nipple-less and vagina-less cartoon image of Beowulf's mother. It's actually really creepy.

The movie is very violent, even compared to other cartoons like Ren and Stimpy or Itchy and Scratchy. Lots of people die. And by dying I don't mean stabbed or passing away because of heart disease or slipping in the bathtub and hitting your head. Dozens of people are impalled, one is ripped in half, and another has his head bitten off. Some are flogged against the ground and others used as bowling balls. It bordered on the rediculous.

I am having a difficult time rating this movie. For an animated movie, I guess the animation was good. The movie is based on one of the all-time classic stories in all of literature. However, it was mostly just silly and overdone. I will have to give this movie 2 stars. Too much shiny featureless naked woman, too much nonsensical death, and not enough believability, even for a mythical movie.