Best Laid Plans

Remember my mission to see all of Reese's movies? Well, here's another one I just saw.

When former college friend Bryce (Josh Brolin) shows up, he's treated to an evening of drinking with his old college buddy Nick (Alessandro Nivola), and some sexy romance with a girl he meets (Reese Witherspoon). However, after he wakes up and doesn't remember the evening, things start going horribly wrong. The movie then unfolds into an intricate web of deception, conspiracy, and double-crossing. Will Nick be able to help Bryce get out of this mess? Any more information than this may spoil the plot.

Best Laid Plans is Rated R for violence, adult themes, nudity (not Reese), language, and drug abuse. This psychological thriller from 1999 was directed by Mike Barker, who's best known for American Dad, and is a whopping 93 minutes long.

Best Laid Plans had a lot of potential. The plot is really not that bad - up until the end. When I got to the end, I was so disappointed that I was mad at the movie. "Are you kidding me?" I shouted. I understand that it is difficult to create a plot-twisting dramatic ending, but this ending seems like it was written by a high school drama team 10 minutes before class. 'Hey, we wrote this great movie, but the story is due at 11:30. How should we end it?'

As I stated before, if you like ole Reese, then you would certainly tolerate, if not enjoy, this movie right up until the end. But you can certainly do better than this movie. I give Best Plaid Plans 2.5 stars. Boooooooo.....

Fear

I may have mentioned before that one of my objectives is to watch all of Reese Witherspoon's movies. When I came to the realization that I liked her and looked her library of movies, there really aren't that many big hits. Sweat Home Alabama and Walk the Line come to mind. Both are a couple of my all-time favorite movies.

So thus began my mission to watch all of her movies. I've now seen her ealiest movies that she made as a child (The Man in the Moon (actually, this one was pretty good), Wildflower, Twilight (which I think is the only movie in which she gets naked), and Pleasantville).

This week I watched Fear. In Fear she plays a high school girl (she's actually 20 years old when she plays this role). She's a bit of a party girl and when her parent's decide to leave her home for the weekend, she uses the opportunity to bring home a boy. Little does she know that this boy, Dave (Mark Wahlberg) is a raging lunatic. But as any guy who's been to high school can tell you, the pretty girls always go for the crazy, mean, and stupid guys. What's the attraction???

Eventually, David moves into the family relationship and Nicole's father Steven (William Paterson) starts to question this guy. He's seems awfully chummy with his wife Laura (Amy Brenneman). Nicole starts to realize that David is not who she thinks he is when she sees him with her friend Margo (Alyssa Milano - remember when she was cute? Now she's just kind of weird).

When the family decides that it's time for David to go, David does not go quietly.

Fear is rated R for violence, sexuality, language and unemotional acting. The movie is 96 minutes long.

I say unemotional, because when your life is on the line, or you think something terrible is going to happen, your reaction isn't going to be, "Hmmm....what do we do?" It's going to be a blood-curdling scream. And it's not like the people in the movie were able to contain their emotion. They just lacked it.

The movie's only redeeming quality was the roller coaster scene. You could probably lift that off of the Internet. You'll never think of a roller coaster the same way. And did I mention that she's in a bikini in several scenes???

I did accomplish one objective - I watched another Reese Witherspoon movie. What I did not accomplish was watching a good movie. I can only give Fear 2.3 stars. It really isn't worth watching this movie unless you're a big Witherspoon fan.

Four Christmases

This movie is over a year old, but like any good Christmas movie it is released in the theater one year and onto DVD the following year. And best of all, Four Christmases stars Reese Witherspoon, but not her fork, and Vince Vaughn.

Like a lot of couples in America, Brad and Kate are delaying marriage (if getting married at all) and choosing to live in sin instead. And like many American families, both parents are divorced. Rather than having Christmas with their multiple families, Brad and Kate have ventured off to foreign lands each year instead. However, this Christmas, circumstances have changed and they are forced to spend their Christmas with each of their parents - thus they will be having four Christmases. Get it?

Of course, each of their families is crazy, each being situated on the opposite sides of a four-pointed spectrum (if there is such a thing). However, while spending time with each of their families brings out uncomfortable comedy, it also reveals facts that Brad and Kate didn't know about each other, which may threaten their relationship.

Four Christmases also stars a well-known supporting case, including Robert Duvall, Sissy Spacek, Jon Voight, Mary Steenburgen, Dwight Yoakam, in addition to Jon Favreau as Denver and Tim McGraw as Dallas.

The movie is rated PG-13 because it's a romantic comedy and PG-13 is the required rating for generating box office receipts. Additionally, the movie has adult language (though commonly used by Baltimore city children), violence, and sexual humor. Furthermore, the movie is 88 minutes long.

Four Christmases was directed by Seth Gordon, also known for the hysterical comedy King of Kong and the funny TV show Parks and Recreation.

I was a bit disappointed with Four Christmases. I did find it comical that the 9 foot Vince was paired up with the 5 foot Reese. However, as far as the plot was concerned I was actually starting to feel bad for the families. The comedy was a bit over the top and a bit more slap-stick than what I like. Therefore, unfortunately, I am forced to give this Reese Witherspoon movie only 2 stars.

Pleasantville

I finally watched Pleasantville for the first time in my life. I know, can you believe it? So many movies I haven't seen.

My main objective for watching the movie is to fulfill my fantasy of dating Reese Witherspoon. I figure if I see every movie she's ever been in and she learns about how obsessed I am, she'll like me. Sounds like a high school tragedy, doesn't it? (And by sheer coincidence, Tragedy by the Bee-Gee's is currently on the radio as I write this.)

As I mentioned, the movie stars Reese Witherspoon, in addition to Spiderman, I mean Tobey Maguire, as her brother, William H. Macy as their father, and Joan Allen as their mother.

Tobey is obsessed with an old T.V. show called Pleasantville, sort of a spoof on late 1950's, early 1960's T.V. shows like Leave It To Beaver and My Three Sons. His sister Jennifer, on the other hand, likes to get around. A lot.

On the day of the big Pleasantville marathon, Jennifer plans to have her boyfriend over, but Tobey plans on watching the marathon. They get into a fight over the remote and it breaks. But not to worry, Barney Fife the T.V. repairman mysteriously shows up at the door with a new magical remote. Unbeknownst to Tobey and Reese, the remote sends them into the T.V. show - black and white and all. As my son would say, this is a gray T.V. show. They then spend the rest of the movie trying to figure out how to, so to speak, 'get back to the future', only this version is funny.

The presence of the 2 kids in town changes the balance of harmony and things start to fall apart. Then colors start appearing and people start to freak out. What's going on? Will the town tolerate these new changes? I mean, some people have color and some don't. The funniest thing in the movie was a sign in the window that read, "No Coloreds", alluding to segregation in the early to mid-1900's, though the reference is to people in technicolor. In fact, I don't think there were any African-Americans in the movie at all, or black people.

This movie is clever and funny. I'm disappointed that it took me this long in life to see the movie. If you haven't seen it, then you need to knock it off of your list. Because after you see it, "Fire! Fire! Fire!.......Dog in a tree!" will have a lot more meaning to you.

The movie is rated PG-13 for language and sexuality. And Jeff Daniels painted a naked picture of Joan Allen on the window of the diner. It's not a bad picture either. And her in the tub...quite a visualization.

I gave this movie 4 stars, and that's without the Reese bias.

Cruel Intentions

A friend recommended this movie to me based on the fact that I have a secret obsession for Reese Witherspoon. Oh, crap, it's not a secret anymore!

Anyway, Cruel Intentions is a 1999 movie that stars Reese Witherspoon as Annette, the daughter of the head master of a private school. She's Miss Perfect and made a pledge to stay pure until her wedding, at which time I'll assume she'll be impure. However, Kathryn (Sarah Michelle Geller) has some other plans. She challenges her step brother Sebastian (Ryan Phillippe) to deflower the headmaster's daughter before the school year starts. If he succeeds, his step-sister will let him have sex with her. Hmmm…a bit unconventional. If he loses, she gets his prized car.

To add to the mix Selma Bair plays the absolutely ding-bat sex-crazed idiot, who, at the time, was already 27 years old playing a high school girl. She is sent there by her mother, but sometime in the past she had stolen a boyfriend from Kathryn, so Kathryn is out to ruin her. Though not graphic in nature, she has a difficult time keeping her legs closed - and I'm not talking about any nudity. Just a lack of social norms. It's quite amusing.

The whole twist in the plot is that while Sebastian is trying to win his bet, he inadvertently falls in love with Annette. His challenge now is does he stay faithful to the bet or to the girl that he has fallen in love with?

The sinister plot is interesting in this movie. Sebastian keeps a diary which he names Cruel Intentions, listing his conquests. For the most part, the acting is what you would expect from a movie staring a bunch of young adults. Okay, but maybe a bit over-dramatic. And in death, the acting was a bit silly.

The movie is Rated R for strong sexual situations including a long-lasting lesbian kiss, and Reese Witherspoon having sex (uh-oh, did I spoil anything?), some strong language, 2 guys being caught together in their underwear in bed, and implied oral sex. Oh, and sex, and adult sexual situations and sex. But again, no nudity, unless you count Ryan Phillippe's butt, and I do not.

Overall, this movie was interesting. I'd probably see it again. I'll give it 4 stars. Reese Witherspoon, not with her fork, may be the tipping point for me.

Just Like Heaven

Yes, I'm the guy that's a sucker for a decent chick-flick. And why not? There's not a chick-flick that doesn't contain a good looking girl. Isn't that why it's called a chick-flick?

So anyway, Just Like Heaven stars Reese Witherspoon, my favorite sub 5'2" actress, along with Mark Ruffalo. Reese plays Dr. Elizabeth, an aspiring and caring young doctor who has just been given a position at the hospital, much to the dismay of heartless Dr. Brett who thinks the position belongs to him. Will this heartless doctor come back to haunt her? Hmmmm.....foreshadowing. On her way to her sister's house for a blind date she is involved in a car accident.

The scene switches over to Mark Ruffalo (David) who is moving into the area after his wife passed away and is looking for an apartment. After some comical apartment showcases with his overbearing real estate agent ("My stars! Look at this cute place!"), David finally settles on Elizabeth's old apartment. At this point we assume something must have happened to her.

However, at different points Elizabeth starts showing up and yelling at David to get out of her apartment, but then abruptly disappears. This goes on for a couple of weeks and David begins to think that he's lost his mind. He decides to figure out who this is so that he can deal with this ghost. But strangely over time, they start to become attracted to each other.

Will David find out who she really is and is she really a ghost or is she real? Of course this movie has a happy ending. The funny thing is that my wife kept insisting that I've seen this movie. "Don't you remember the scene in the garden?" "No." Over and over again. None of the movie seemed familiar. Perhaps it's the Alzheimer's.

Just Like Heaven is rated PG-13 for some sexual situations and some potty language. The movie is 95 minutes long. I give this 'chick-flick' 4 stars. Check it out!

Penelope

What do you do when your daughter receives the brunt of a family curse and ends up with a pig nose? Fake her death and hide her in a home in the country, of course. Christina Ricci stars as Penelope, the cursed girl, who has come of age and is seeking an acceptable suitor who will help end the curse.

Penelope's parents, Catherine O'Hara (the overbearing obnoxious one) and Richard E. Grant (the passive and honest one), arrange for gatherings with male suitors who flee at the first site of her. Unfortunately, Edward Humphrey Vandermann III (Simon Woods - Rome), the son of rich businessman, is one of those suitors and he, like the others, flees when he sees her, but runs to the police to report a monster living in the burbs. Reports of a pig-like ogre with huge fangs that attacked him spread through the newspapers.

In an effort to get her pictures to the press, they evil dudes hire Max (James McAvoy - Atonement, The Last King of Scotland, Narnia), to woo her and take the pictures. Only problem is, standard Hollywood script requires him to fall in love with her and eventually renig on his promise to help cage this monster.

Despite her encounter with Max, Penelope is totally despondant and decides to leave her parents and set out on her own with her mother's stolen credit card. She meets Reese Witherspoon (check out those beautiful eyes) at a bar and who wouldn't want to meet Reese Witherspoon at a bar. They befriend each other until the hired authorities catch up with her. Edward has an evil plan that will help destory her. Will Edward's plan work or will Max be able to win her back? Or will Penelope figure it all out and find love and happiness on her own? Will the curse be broken or will she learn to love despite the curse?

This movie is geared to preteen girls, but adult enough that parents would not be disappointed. My 8 year-old daughter loved the movie, but my 10 year-old nephew who was staying with us for the week did not like it. He was hoping for more high speed car chase scenes and some battle ax fights with snakes and volcanoes. And my 6 year-old son fell asleep 5 minutes into it, which was good.

Penelope was produced by Reese Witherspoon. It is rated PG for some language and mild violence and a scarry pig nose on an otherwise attractive Christina Ricci. The movie is 89 minutes long, just long enough to start and have it end when the kids are good and ready for bed. My daughter gave this movie 4 stars. I probably would have given it 3 stars, but the movie was not intended for me, so we'll go with the 4 stars. (Editor's note: my daughter has never rated a movie less than 4 stars)

Rendition

Another movie compliments of Netflix (and without delays in shipping or recognizing that they received my last movie at a reasonable time!), Rendition is about a man that was basically kidnapped by the United States government because they suspected that he was a terrorist. His wife, Reese Witherspoon, sets out to find out where he is and climbs the political ladder to get answers.

The movie is intense and has some disturbing scenes of torture, but I guess that's why my mother always told me not to be a terrorist, because torture is no fun. Jake Gyllenhaal, the Viking-sounding actor from Los Angeles, is the government operative that is helping to conduct the "examination and questioning" sessions. Also in the movie, Meryl Streep plays a high level government official who's a total bitch (if you can believe that) and Alan Arkin is the jerk-head politician (again - a jerk-head politician, who knew?)

A subplot of the movie is a bomb that detonates in an Egyptian market square at the beginning of the movie. The local police chief (Yigal Naor, one of several people from Munich to star in this movie), is investigating this bombing, in addition to trying to find his daughter. There is a great plot twist that if I say too much I will give it away. I totally fell into it and didn't see it coming.

The only thing that disappointed me was the ending. It was all too easy. Things don't really happen this way, especially in real life, but as we know, Hollywood and real life are two totally mutually exclusive things.

The movie did not receive high reviews, though I give it 4 stars. If it hadn't been for the pooper ending, I would have given it 5 stars. Reese's character wasn't all that strong, though it did not need to be. If you are going to watch this movie because she's in it, you may be disappointed. However, the good plot and action should keep you in this movie.